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The question was right there and a desperate need shoved at me.
What did he mean?
Whathappened? The answer might give me the reason I was here. Zeus’s commands, they wouldn’t stop me—not if I was letting the conversation take the direction it should.
I might be able to get one step ahead of this.
I opened my mouth, about to ask, but the words got stuck.
He was vulnerable: fingers crushing mine, face so pale it looked like he might faint as he told me something he’d never told anyone. He was sharing his pain—pain the Lightning pack had given him. Pain he’d carried all these years.
Thisconversation was a gift, and I’d been about to bring his demons right to its doorstep. Zeus might as well be standing next to us, listening in.
I shut my eyes, steadying my breathing. “I’m sorry, Drake.”
His fingers wound through my hair and he dragged me against his chest, holding me tight. I could feel him shaking.
“I love you,” he whispered, voice thick. “And seeing how strong you are gives me strength. Because none of that was the worst part. It wasn’t what they took, it was what I gave them. I tried so hard for so long. I gave them so much of me and they crushed it. Now I just act and go on walks and, I don’t know, watch TV? There are all of these holes I carry everywhere and I can’t get them back.”
I drew back, staring up at him. “Was it like… the makeup?” I asked, remembering how he’d pushed after what Zeus had said. How he’d told me not to let them steal it from me when I’d been afraid to even look at it.
“He tried to take it from you.” His voice was rough. “Tried to make it into something… cheap or shallow so whenever you touch it, it’s… w-wrong. But you took it back from them in… in days. And it’s been years and I still haven’t—”
“That’s not fair.” My voice shook as I cupped his cheeks and made him look at me. “I had you.”
He shut his eyes, though I could see the smallest shimmering tear on his dark lashes.
“Tell me one thing?” I asked. “You don’t have to do anything with it. Just… tell me one thing you lost.”
He finally managed a half smile, hands settling on my waist. “You’re going to make fun of me, Dreamgirl.”
I laughed, and suddenly tears were hot on my cheeks. “I willnot.”
“God.” He inhaled sharply. “You’re going to makemecry.”
“Good. Now tell me.”
He snorted. “I um…reallylike to garden.” He blew out a shaky breath, and he loosened, frame relaxing as I held him.
I felt the smile light up my face.
“Like, stuff to cook with. We had this little space in the back where I grew up, and I used to grow all these vegetables. Couldn’t do anything like it at the academy, so then when I moved in with them…” He trailed off, jaw clenched. “I don’t know. I haven’t done it in a while.” His smile was sad. “And I just… I think you’re so impressive that no matter what, you walk awayyou, Vex.”
I held him tight against me as my tears wet his shirt. It wasn’t just grief for him, though. It was anger. “I want that for you, Drake,” I whispered.
“Maybe… now you’re here.”
“Well, now that I am, I’m never going to leave you alone.” I felt the smile tugging at the corner of my lips. “So, you’re not really going to have a choice.”
* * *
I wanted the date tonight with Rook to be perfect. Not just the date, but also the rest of my time here.
The day was weighing me down, and I knew what I needed if I wanted to be free.
I found Ebony in the gym, beating up a training dummy. One was already cracked, its fluffy innards spilling across the floor. His aura died instantly when he saw me.
“I… need to ask you something,” I said, crossing toward him.
