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“Shit. I don’t… know what’s fucking right anymore.”
“Then let us help you. She’s our scent match, right? Not just yours—?”
“I know. Iknow.”
I didn’t say anything else, feeling something discordant from him down the bond. I wasn’t used to Love’s unease. When he finally looked at me, I could almost see the words forming in his head before he said them.
“Rook.” He swallowed. “This last week… I should have done better. I’m s—”
“Nope.” I cut him off. “I don’t want to hear it.” He straightened, looking thrown, but I didn’t give him a chance. “I’d be sick of my shit too if I’d had to deal with it as long as you had. It’s been my and Ebony’s crap for years. Tracks if you can’t see the forest through the trees anymore.”
“What can’t I see?”
“You’ve done a good job, and you don’t owe me an apology. I—Iowe you a thank you.”
“For what?”
I leaned my head back against the stone behind me with a sigh. “You know, Ebony said I like him around because he makes me feel better about myself—which iskindof true, but that’s not it. Not really.”
He watched me curiously.
“Do you know how likely it was that I’d end up in a toxic pack, with all that my parents wanted?”
“I wouldn’t exactly say we’re—”
“Right there—that’s what I mean. You did a good job. We turned out better than we should have because we always had someone fighting for that.”
He opened his mouth, but I cut him off.
“You could have left him, but you didn’t. Why, if you didn’t want to try and make something good out of this?” I asked. “You want what everyone wants. To build a happy life for yourself. Not exactly simple, with Ebony, and then you took me on, too. You didn’t have to—”
“Don’t be stupid,” Love snorted. “I couldn’t have left you anymore than I could have left him.”
“Exactly. Except you never wanted the fame, you just wanted a quiet pack and a nice, completely sane omega. Do you know how easy it would have been if you’d got on that train with your mom?”
His eyes darkened slightly at those words.
“You’re a good person, and you did your—”
“No.” Love’s jaw clenched as he shook his head. I could feel the anxiousness from him. “It’snot… like that.” His gaze drifted as if bracing to say something. “Before Vex, that fucking train was all I could think about.”
A strange silence fell between us as I processed that, my heart sinking.
He rubbed his face. “More and more the last few years.”
Damn.
I’d failed him more than I’d realised.
When I found my voice, it was rough. “The reason I liked Ebony was because you two have always been a package deal, and seeing what you do for him—that was something I’d never been around.”
He watched me cautiously, still unsure.
“But I’ve been a cunt,” I said, needing to find some way to lighten these words. My chest was tight. “Because I’ve just beentaking. For years, I’ve been taking that from you, and not once have I tried to…bebetter for it. If I had, then I wouldn’t have hurt her. You’re not responsible for that.”
He said nothing, but I felt his anxiety loosen through the bond just the slightest bit.
“And I don’t blame you. Anyone would be tired of that. How long has it been that you’re the only one fighting for something better for us? Drake’s not exactly a saboteur, but he’s still… getting by, you know? Never been much of a future guy.”
