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“Sure thing, babe.”
When I turn back, I’m across the makeshift bar from Jacks. He’s staring down at me. And for the first time in my life, I don’t know where we stand with each other.
“Hey, Jacks,” I say, waving my hand at him like he’s a stranger and not my best friend since I was born.
“Hey, Lil. Good to see you. Selena won’t stop raving about this syrup.”
“I’m glad.”
Selena gives me a big smile and an encouraging nod. “It’s so delicious. I wonder if we could use your syrups in our cookies instead of sugar? I’d have to modify the liquid ratios, but this would make the best purple sugar cookies.”
“You’re the baker, not me. But I’ll make you as much syrup as you want. Just let me know.”
Selena beams at me. “I will. Now you two need to talk it out and get over it. You love each other and love is all that matters.” Selena’s smile turns into a frown as she looks at Jacks. “Most importantly, I love both of you. So, you two need to get over it and get back to normal already. Work it out with your best friend, Nugget. Now.”
chapter forty-six
lily
Jacks grumbles something that resembles an okay, and then we both watch Selena as she heads back towards the house.
Normally, I over-share with Jacks. I’ve never kept anything like this from him. I’ve never really kept anything from him at all. But I’ve been lying to him for months.
“So…” I say quietly, turning to face him.
“So…” Jacks repeats just as quietly as he fiddles with stuff on the make-shift bar.
“I’m sorry about all of this. I never meant for any of it to happen. But Jameson just came into my life like a wrecking ball, tore down all my walls, and wouldn’t leave.”
Jacks looks up at me, and he looks pissed. “You want me to make him leave?”
“No. Of course, I don’t. I’m with him, Jacks. I’m sorry if that upsets you. I hate that it does, and I don’t know how to fix it. Because Jameson and I are together. Full stop. We’re together, and that’s not changing anytime soon.”
Jacks doesn’t look at me as he keeps moving stuff around on the bar in front of him.
“You text me fifteen times a day, Lil. About the most random shit. And you never once thought you should mention to me that you’re sleeping with my little brother? If this just happened, that would be one thing. But you said this has been going on for months.”
“I’m sorry you found out the way you did. And I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about him. It wasn’t on purpose. I didn’t want to tell anyone.”
Jacks looks over at me, frowning. “Are you ashamed of him?”
“No. No! Of course, I’m not.”
Wiping the back of his hand along the beard he grows whenever he’s not filming, he studies me. “Good. Because then I’d have to decide if I was pissed at you for being ashamed of dating my little brother. And I’d have to lecture you about knowing better than sleeping with anyone you’d be ashamed of walking down Grove Street with.”
“I’m not ashamed of him. Jameson’s… great. He’s wonderful. He’s exactly what you think he is, but then he’s completely different. He’s so much more. I’ve known him my whole life, but it’s like I didn’t know him at all, you know?”
“Not really, but okay. So, this is serious, then?”
Nodding, I swipe my finger along the condensation on the ice bucket. “I think so.”
“If it doesn’t work out, I’m not choosing between you. You’re my best friend. He’s my brother. I’m not choosing. You two are just going to have to figure it out.”
“I would never ask you to choose.”
“Good.”
“Jacks?”
