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I do as my Lemon tells me and go find a good bale of hay for us. When she walks over with another glass of wine for her and a third beer for me, I pick up the blanket I grabbed to keep her warm. She stares at me like she’s trying to see if I’m in pain. Then she must be satisfied I’m not, because she smiles at me and sits down, pressing her back into my side. I wrap her up to keep her warm and take my beer from her.
“Thanks, Lemon.”
“You’re welcome.”
As she leans back against me, we watch the sparks from the fire fly up into the air before burning to ash. Jensen and Jarret are arguing about building another barn on the other side of the farm, and I just listen as I hold her to me.
Lily’s spent more nights at our farm than I can count. But her being here has never felt as right as it does when she’s wrapped up in my arms. And with Lily Wilson in my arms, I don’t feel like I’m in the distance tagging along after everyone anymore. With Lily beside me, I’m right at the center of everything.
chapter forty-eight
lily
When I walk from the back of my shop towards the ringing bell telling me the front door opened, I see Gunnar standing in the middle of the shop. The huge smile on my face freezes. I thought it was Jameson. He’s usually the only one who comes into the shop since we’re still not officially open yet. Sometimes, Selena pops over from next door. But usually, it’s Jameson.
“Hey, Lil.”
“Hey, how’s it going?” I wonder if I sound as awkward as I feel right now.
“So, you're just with Jameson now?” This is the first time I’ve seen him since Jameson and I went public. I’ve been dreading talking to him, even though I know I need to face him as much as anyone. More, probably.
Nodding, I put the vase of flowers I’m carrying down on the retail counter. “Yes, we’re together.”
I don’t want to hurt Gunnar. I don’t even know if hearing about me and Jameson is going to hurt him. But I’m also not ashamed to be with Jameson. And I’m done hiding our relationship. We’re together, and I can’t be anything but happy about that. I just hope everyone else in my life is, too.
“When did this even happen?”
“A while ago. We didn’t tell anyone. I was all in my head about the fact that he’s younger than me. But I got over it.” Smiling, I think about Jameson. Actually, my boyfriend got me over it.
“And you couldn’t even tell me? I thought we were best friends, Lil.”
“We are. But this didn’t have anything to do with you. And I wasn’t ready to tell anyone yet.”
“Not even me?”
“Not even you. Not even Jacks. This was just for me.”
“Look, I’m happy for you if you’re happy. Are you… happy?”
Smiling, I nod. “I really am. Jameson makes me really happy.”
“At least I know where you went now. You ghosted me, Lil. I’ve barely seen you in months.”
“I’m sorry about that. But since I wasn’t ready to tell anyone, I had to dodge you when I was with him. And I’m with him a lot.”
“You’re my best friend, Lil. I missed you.”
“I know. And I’m sorry. I’m sorry I wasn’t around as much. But now that everything’s out in the open, things can go back to normal… sort of.” I don’t want things to go back to normal. Normal was when I thought I was in love with Gunnar, and I followed him around like a puppy, hoping that one day he’d look at me how I wanted. I don’t want that anymore. I want the life I’m building with Jameson. “Things can’t just stay the same forever.”
“I liked how things were.”
“I didn’t. And you don’t get to be upset that I got over you, Gunnar.”
Gunnar leans back and gives me a what the hell look. “Excuse me, but when exactly were you under me?”
“This isn’t funny.”
“No one’s laughing, Lil.”
