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“I was busting for a pee and I needed to get the bottle out of the warmer,” Mila said, retrieving her daughter and taking her to an armchair next to the counter. “Now, what can I do you for?”
Ava shrugged. “I… I have no idea.”
Mila put the bottle into her daughter’s mouth. “Well, as long as Ag’s got a bottle she’ll be quiet and I’ll have time to talk.” She sniffed. “Assuming you wanted to talk, that is?”
Ava shrugged again. “I mean…” She let out a long, shuddering breath. Mila was, strangely, as close as she got to a friend on this side of the Atlantic. Or at least someone who wasn’t Hope.
“Jesus, you sound dead miserable,” Mila said. “Come on now, tell your Auntie Mila all about it.”
So, out of other options, Ava did. “I’ve been offered a new job. In the States.”
“Sounds good.”
“Except I’ll be starting in January.”
“Ah.”
“But then Whitebridge Primary might be closing anyway.”
Mila’s mouth dropped open. “The school might be closing?”
Ava blushed. “Oh God, was that supposed to be a secret, I had no idea.”
Mila laughed. “Nah, just messing with you. The whole town knows, we’re all up in arms about it, don’t you worry. But I see your problem. Well, actually, maybe I don’t. I mean, you take the new job, don’t you? You don’t turn down a sure thing for another six months in a school that you planned to leave at the end of June anyway. So in the long run, I guess it doesn’t matter that you leave early, or if the school closes or not. At least not to you.”
Ava bit her lip.
“Unless,” Mila said. “Unless there were some other reason to stay. Or to go, I suppose.”
Ava sighed and closed her eyes and Mila laughed again. “So, things went further than you’d thought with Hope Perkins, did they? She’s a persuasive girl, that one. Got her head screwed on straight too. Couldn’t think of a better catch.”
“What about if you’re not sure whether you’re fishing or not?” asked Ava.
Mila pursed her lips. “That puts a different light on things then, doesn’t it?”
Ava leaned against the counter. She’d already started, so she might as well be honest. “I like her, I truly do. But there’s more to consider than that, isn’t there?”
“Not least that Hope has a family,” Mila said. “A child.”
“Which means committing to not just Hope but Alice as well.”
Mila cuddled her daughter closer to her. “Can’t say that I’ve been in your position,” she said. “But I do know that I’d forgive my husband most things, but I’d never forgive him hurting Ag. Not that he would, but do you see where I’m going with this?”
“Hurting Alice would be unforgivable,” Ava said. “The problem is, I think maybe I already have. I spilled the news about the job in front of her, I didn’t know she was there. Now she knows her teacher’s leaving and she seemed destroyed by the news. Imagine how she’d feel if she thought her mother’s, um, whatever-I’m-supposed to be was leaving. She’s as defensive of Hope as Hope is of her.”
Ag gurgled and Mila tipped the bottle a little more. “It all comes back to what you want,” she said. “It doesn’t get much simpler than that. You, Ava Stanford, need to decide just what you want and go for it.”
“But what if what I want and what’s sensible aren’t the same thing?” argued Ava. “What if I derail my whole life for the wrong reason?”
“Then you’ll have made a mistake. Life’s full of them, unfortunately.”
Ava closed her eyes again. “I can’t base my whole future on one night.”
“Why not?” Mila asked. She looked down at her daughter. “We’re all based on one night in the end, aren’t we?” She smirked. “Well, in Ag’s case it was one rainy afternoon, but my point stands.”
“Why not?” Ava said. She looked out of the shop window at the cool morning outside.
Whitebridge was a nice place, a place she’d almost belonged for a little while. But she had to try to build her life again, she had to make something to replace what she’d lost. Expecting Hope to help her do that was unfair. Expecting Hope to risk herself and her daughter on someone who, in the end, would probably have to leave anyway, was unfair.
