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“I don’t want to.”
“You have to,” Angel says softly as we make our way down the hallway to the stairs. I slow my pace, dragging this out. Not wanting to face what I’ve done, what I’ve become.
“We just want to see him,” Cash says, his voice growing angry. Oh god, I hope that Anthony doesn’t have one of his men shoot him.
“He’s safe. When he wants to see you, you’ll be allowed to,” Anthony responds, his voice made of steel.
“Oh god, that’s hot. Getting me all bothered,” Tatum groans as I make my way to the top of the stairs.
“No. I’m… I’m here,” I manage to say as I make my way toward them.
My dad meets my stare but my gaze is pulled toward Cash and Ford who are rushing up the stairs, pulling me into their arms. I am crushed between them, the feel of them, the scent of their musk making my eyes break out in tears once more.
God, I’m never going to get over this if I have to give them up.
“You never fucking run from us again,” Cash grumbles.
“Never again,” Ford adds, and I swallow roughly.
“Okay,” I say because I know that there probably won’t be a next time.
With a strength I don’t really feel, I turn toward my dad who is waiting at the bottom of the stairs. Anthony is off to the side next to Tatum, who is standing on his tiptoes and whispering something in his ear. I see Anthony’s fist clenching near his side before he grabs on to Tatum’s neck and walks him backward into the hallway, Tatum smirking the whole way.
Before I can think too hard about what that means, I’m in front of my dad. His lips are slightly wobbly and his eyes look a bit panicked. Fuck. I did this. I made him afraid.
“I’m so sorry,” I whisper, feeling my cheeks heat.
My dad watches me intently and then sighs, pulling me into a hug. “Shit, Ben. You don’t ever need to run from me. You can always tell me things. Anything. I’ll always listen.”
The sincerity in his voice, the way he’s squeezing me to his strong chest makes sobs wrack my body. All the shame, the guilt exploding out of my eyes and onto his shoulder. I’m drenching him with my tears.
“I’m so fucking sorry,” I choke out. “I should have done better…I know you’re so disappointed in me.”
“No. No.”
I can’t hear him though and continue blubbering. “Mom would be so ashamed. Please don’t hate me. Please don’t hate Cash and Ford. It’s not their fault…”
My words are incoherent, but being around for his fair share of my breakdowns, my dad just squeezes me tighter.
“No. No, Benjamin. Don’t be sorry. Don’t be ashamed for falling in love with two incredible men.”
I freeze and pull back, swiping at my running nose and eyes.
“What?”
“You fell in love with two men who I love like brothers. How could I be upset with you for that? I’ve had some time to think about it and I’m happy for you three.”
Those words make me sob even harder, my entire body shaking as I let him pull me into him again.
“Can I speak with my son privately,” my dad says. “Please. Just a minute.”
Ford and Cash seem reluctant to let me go, but eventually let my dad lead me into a secluded hallway. We stare at each other awkwardly for a minute, and then I swipe at my eyes, asking with a shaky voice, “How long have you known?”
“I had suspicions for weeks. But it was solidified when I showed up at Ford’s and you were there.”
I huff a laugh and groan. “Fuck. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to lie to you, I just couldn’t…”
My dad rests his hands on my shoulders and shakes his head. “It’s okay. As long as you’re happy…”
