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I want them both to stay.
* * *
When I wake up the next morning, I feel like death.I’m now the Grim Reaper, I think as I groan and smack my lips together. My mouth is the lake of fire.
Oh god, why did I drink so much?
I peel my eyelids open and see Cash sitting in my desk chair, his eyes hooded as he watches me.
“Oh shit,” I moan as I try and sit up. My head throbs, and I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
“Here,” he says as he moves toward me with a bottle of Advil and a cup of water. He hands them both to me, and I take them with shaky hands, sipping at the water and popping a few pills.
“You didn’t need to stay,” I say, not able to meet his eyes. Fuck, what did I say to him last night? I didn’t divulge any secrets, did I?
Although I’m not sure he would have stayed if I had.
“I had to make sure you didn’t die. Dean was busy with Avery, so someone had to make sure you were okay all night.”
My eyes flick to him, and I feel my cheeks flush.
“You didn’t have to,” I whisper, feeling my heart sink at how he’s looking at me. It’s not with lust, but more like veiled disgust? Or maybe I’m projecting.
I’m disgusted with myself at the moment. And I smell. Like old toilet.
“I need a shower.”
I push myself up and wobble slightly. Cash appears at my side and grabs on to my arm.
“Come on.”
“I’ve got it,” I say, but he still walks me to the small bathroom.
He only lets me go so he can turn the shower on as I lean against the counter and begin scrubbing at my teeth. I do an extra good job too, trying to wash away the taste of bile. When I’m done, my mouth rinsed, I see Cash reach for the hem of my shirt, pulling it up over my head. And I let him.
Just want him to be with me, just want him close to me.
Fuck.
The shirt plops onto the ground, and I feel my chest constrict as he steps away from me. I want him to undress me, to place his hands on me. But he doesn’t. He’s probably disgusted with me, with the fact that we aren’t exclusive. That I’ve been with someone else.
I pull off my pants and kick them to the side, not even bothering to look at Cash as I stumble under the hot water. I don’t want to see him look at me with revulsion, with derision. I can’t stand it.
Scrubbing at my head and body quickly, I wash and rinse before turning to see if Cash is still in the bathroom with me. Our eyes catch through the slightly foggy glass. His chest is rising and falling quickly, and I realize, as my eyes drop to his crotch, that his cock is hard and jutting out from his jeans.
Oh fuck.
My own dick lengthens between my legs, and I grab on to it, trying to keep it under control.
Shutting off the water, I turn toward him, feeling a shiver of lust slide through my body as I face him fully. His eyes have darkened, his jaw muscles working back and forth as he grinds his teeth. I see his hands fisted at his sides, and I know he’s trying not to reach out for me.
“I’m not drunk anymore,” I say, despite the ache in my head still making itself known. But right now, it’s a dull throb. What hurts more is my dick. It needs attention.
“No, you’re not,” Cash says as I grab a towel and start to dry myself off. I can’t look sexy while doing this, but the way Cash’s nostrils flare as he watches me, I know it’s doing something for him.
“Did you think any more about what you want from me?” I ask softly, peeking up at him.
Cash lets out a shaky breath. “Oh, I want a whole lot from you. Want your lips on my dick again, want to suck your cock into my mouth, want to try fucking you. But I don’t want to share.”
