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“No, I don’t hate you. I don’t think I could hate you,” I admit. There are feelings I have for him, feelings that won’t allow me to hate him no matter how much I want to. And believe me; I want to. Or at least I did. Maybe this isn’t going to be so bad. He’s said he will be here to help me, and I believe him.
“Good girl.”
“You keep calling the baby a boy. We don’t know what it is yet,” I tell him.
“I know. Maybe it’s a girl,” he says. “A girl who will be as beautiful as her mom.” Things like this are the reason I can’t stay mad at him. In his way, I know he loves me. Maybe he doesn’t go about things the right way, but at least he cares.
“Or a boy that looks just like you,” I whisper.
“You’re comin’ around, aren’t you?”
“I don’t know. I’m mad at the way you did things, but I can’t be mad at the baby. It didn’t ask to be here. It didn’t ask to be a part of this,” I tell him. He rolls to his side and rests his hand on my stomach before he sighs.
“Everything is gonna be good. I promise that.”
“What if club shit comes up?”
“Like what?”
“I don’t know. Anything.”
“Then I handle it. I told you I’m gonna be here for the two of you.” He sounds a little annoyed with me. I’m worried, and I have every right to be.
“This is all happening too fast, Cage. The baby, the house.”
“We’re gettin’ married soon, too.” His reminder is like a slap to the face. He didn’t even ask if that’s what I wanted. Just like the baby, although the thought of holding a tiny person in my arms is starting to feel right. I won’t tell Cage that, though.
“You can’t decide that. Can’t we just slow down and deal with the baby first?”
“No.”
“Why?”
“I said no. I want you, Yenni. I fucked up once, and I could have lost you. That’s not gonna happen again. We’re gettin’ married, and we’re gonna be a family. I never had a dad, and this baby is gonna have me.” I didn’t know that part. We don’t talk about his past, and I never asked. I let it go when he said he didn’t want to talk about it.
“We don’t need to be married to raise this baby together,” I remind him.
“Never said we did, but we’re gonna be. This isn’t up for discussion.”
“You tricked me into this baby, Cage. You can’t trick me into marrying you.” His hand moves from my stomach to my chest, where he grips my breast roughly.
“What do you want from me?”
“At least a discussion.”
“We just discussed it,” he argues.
“No. We didn’t. You told me what we’re doing again. You can’t keep doing that. If you want this to work, we need to talk.”
“Fine. Give me the reason you don’t want to get married,” he says, being short with me.
“I’m not ready.”
“Not good enough. Give me somethin’ else.”
“We don’t know each other that well. What if we get tired of each other?” He grunts.
“Still not good enough,” he adds.
