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Maverick dipped his head, but hesitation mixed with his own pain when he began, “Dare—”
“Get Einstein on it,” Dare roared, his entire body shaking as he turned his anguish-fueled rage on my brother.
Maverick started picking his way back out of the house as he pulled out his phone. Dare wavered in place for a while before following when the firetruck arrived, slipping his gun into the waistband of his pants as he did.
But just as I took a step after him, Kieran held out a hand in front of me, silently asking for my phone.
And I knew in that simple gesture how worried he was to see what I’d received because Kieran wasn’t the kind of guy who usually asked.
Then again, Kieran’s world had revolved around Lily for most of their lives. It had to be an entirely different kind of pain to lose someone who had once been yours to love and protect.
“I can’t find her,” I repeated as I handed him my phone.
He stared at the screen for long seconds before his head slowly bobbed as he gave it back. His tensed jaw trembled, and his eyes were glassy when they flashed my way before he turned and effortlessly found his way out over the piles of soggy, singed debris.
That time, I lingered.
I let the grief and my guilt consume me. Tear at my heart and threaten to pull me under because I could’ve prevented all of it.
“I’m sorry,” I choked out to the remains before making my way to the front just as firefighters entered, already yelling at me and for me to evacuate what remained of the house that used to be our sanctuary.
Like I wanted to be there any longer, surrounded by my mistakes.
I shoved a fireman away from me when he tried ushering me toward the front lawn, ignoring his barking opinions about the remaining dangers and instability of the structure.
I already knew what caused the explosion. From the look of the house, it was obvious. But even with the rain, I could smell the remnants of it. Just as I knew there wasn’t a leak anywhere because everything KSG had done so far had been intentional.
And if the rest of the house fell on me, it honestly might be easier than facing Dare after this.
Dare, who was being held up by my brother as he finally broke.
Sofia and Lily—my fault.
Turning away from where the other guys stood, I ignored the gutted feeling deep in my stomach, steeled my jaw, and did what I should’ve from the beginning...
My fucking job.
DIGGS
I took stock of every single person who had gathered on the street and lawns, looking at the destruction in confusion and disbelief. Taking videos and pictures. Whispering to each other. Pointing from us to the house and then to the houses that rested on either side that had suffered their own casualties from the explosion, even if it was minor in comparison.
But they were all people who lived in the neighborhood.
They were all people in uniform.
Sofia and Lily—my fault.
I shifted my head and tried desperately to swallow past the jagged rocks in my throat, but they kept building. Choking me. The weights on my chest pressed heavier. Making it impossible to breathe.
And I fucking hated that throughout every goddamn second since I’d left the car, my soul had been reaching and begging for me to return to it. To her.
The distraction I swore I’d never have.
But I could feel her in my pulse. In every pained beat of my heart that reminded me of my failure. And with every pull I felt in her direction, I fought harder against it.
Sofia and Lily—my fault.
“I could’ve prevented it,” I managed to say when I felt Maverick approach me, words sounding warped as they climbed out of my strained throat.
