AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“About damn time,” she said victoriously.
My head shook as I locked my door and started running down the hallway. “And here I thought you were mad at me.”
“Oh, furious,” she agreed. “For Maci, I want to hate you and maybe even castrate you. But I saw the two of you together, so I know what you told her is bullshit. However, I also saw her brothers flip out when Bryce showed last night...”
An acknowledging grunt left me as I imagined that shitshow.
“After that, and considering you’re the twins’ best friend and that no one has said a word about you suddenly deciding not to come on the trip,” she went on, leaving the words hanging for a beat, “I have a feeling I know what happened.”
“It got ugly when I told them about us,” I admitted. “I can’t imagine it’ll go over well when I get there. But I’ll be there as soon as I can. Be there for her until I can.”
MACI
My hair was naturally straight; I usually just messed with it enough that it had that just-fucked look. Even so, I used Amber’s flat iron to make sure it was smooth and perfect before pulling it back in a low bun.
Stepping back to look at myself in the full-length mirror, I was surprised when I hardly recognized the person staring back at me. My makeup was a little lighter, the nose ring was still out, and with the black peacoat I was wearing over my cream, long-sleeved shirt, I realized I probably looked like I belonged on Bryce’s arm. Even with the red hair.
But it wasn’t those changes that made me unrecognizable.
I usually smiled. I usually looked happy. But there was no emotion, no life in my eyes...nothing. I looked more ready for a funeral than a Christmas Eve dinner with my family.
Forcing a smile, I immediately let it fall when it came across pained.
I shouldn’t have been this upset about Connor, but I was. I shouldn’t have let myself fall in love with him, but I had. And I didn’t know how to make it through another family meal pretending everything was fine when it wasn’t.
Amber walked into our room and abruptly stopped when she saw me. Her eyes widened, and a feigned smile crossed her face as she looked me over. “Don’t you look...different.”
“Wow, thanks,” I muttered dully. “Why don’t you just tell me I look like shit?”
“Because you don’t.” She rolled her eyes as she crossed the room to sit on my bed. “You’re really pretty, Maci. Like, you could make a burlap sack look sexy. It’s just like this? You don’t look a thing like my friend.”
“I don’t say anything when you endlessly go back and forth from blonde to brunette other than you’re killing your hair. You change the way you look; I’m changing—”
“You,” she cut in somberly. “You’re changing you, not the way you look.”
I suppressed a sigh and started for the door. “We talked about this—it’s time for me to grow up.”
“Bryce’s version of you growing up,” she bit out as if just the thought of him left a bitter taste in her mouth. “But you don’t need to change anything about you or the way you look, Maci, and it hurts to watch you do this.” She waved a hand through the air, gesturing to me. “You’re trying to kill off my best friend...shutting her up...hiding her—however you want to see it. But you and I both know you won’t be happy like this.”
I stopped at the door and turned on her, keeping my voice low in case anyone was in the hall. “You only think that because I’m not happy right now, but I’m going to be fine. I’m growing up and moving on, and I don’t need my best friend trying to stop me at every turn.”
Amber’s head jerked back at the harsh words.
“I’m sorry,” I hurried to say when hurt flared in her eyes. “But I’m so tired of everyone trying to control my life or change me. You always tried to stop me from seeing Bryce, and now you’re telling me not to change the way I look. My brothers won’t let me date anyone and are constantly bugging me about that. Bryce repeatedly told me to stop cussing and said I needed to change the way I look to be taken seriously. And for some goddamn reason, every man in my life, except for my dad, is telling me to grow up.”
I cleared my throat when emotion built there, my head moving in quick, subtle shakes when I went on. “The only person telling me to just be who I want to be is my mom, but I can’t even tell her about being in love with someone because it’ll get back to my brothers. Do you understand how fucking exhausting that is?”
Amber blinked quickly as she looked away. “I’m sorry.”
“I’m always hiding a part of me,” I added shakily. “My family gets a certain Maci, my friends get a certain Maci, and Bryce had a certain Maci. But Connor had all of me...the good, the bad, and everything in between. For the first time, I didn’t have to hide a part of my life or personality, and it was so freeing. But I never meant anything to him. He didn’t want me. And, like everyone else, he told me to grow up.”
Amber’s eyes were wide when they snapped back to me. “Maci...”
“So, I am.” I wiped at my eyes and blinked back the tears gathering there. “Can you please be okay with that?”
“Mace, I called—”
The door swung open to my mom already talking. “Dinner is just about done, girls—oh, you both look beautiful.”
