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“Barb-like bumps, yeah.” I fisted the dildo and stroked it a few times, the fake barbs abrading my palm, but not in an unpleasant way. Greid let out a croak.
“So you… Corva recommended this place?” His shoulders hunched as I looked over at him, ears fluttering with anxiety. “Did you… Did you tell her…”
“No,” I rushed to reassure him, letting go of the dick to thread our fingers together. “No, Greid, I didn’t tell her anything. I wouldn’t. That’s private, between us. No one else’s business.”
He swallowed and nodded. “I know. Sorry. I know you wouldn’t. It’s just…”
When he trailed off, I squeezed his hand and gently asked, “What?”
“It’s just that—” He cringed, releasing my hand to scrub both of his over his face. “Fuck, I don’t want to keep bringing her up. I’m sorry.”
Okay, so this was about Agma. I shook my head. “Greid, it’s okay. It’ll help me understand, so I don’t mind at all. Okay? I promise.”
“Okay.” He sighed and rubbed his face again. “When Agma and I split up, she told her friends… stuff. About what I, um, wanted. So it just… It got pretty awkward whenever I bumped into them after that.”
Murderous rage swept through me. “She did what?”
“Yeah.” He picked at the front of his onesie. “A couple of them made some gross comments when I saw them at the grocery store not long after we broke up. Made it pretty clear they… knew.” He shrugged, but the movement was jerky. “I’d gotten somewhat friendly with a few of her friends during our relationship, but that ended after that. So. Yeah.”
Suddenly, him going to the compound made a lot more sense. I’d already been able to tell that he’d been lonely, but this was why he’d actually done it. He’d been ostracised. And his social anxiety would have made it even harder for him to go out and make new friends, especially without knowing who knew what about him in the local demiurgus population.
My hands were clenched into tight fists. I was practically vibrating with fury. Letting out a slow breath, I forced my fingers to uncurl so I could clasp his hand.
“That was a really, really shitty thing for her to do.” I was trying not to squeeze his fingers too tight. All I wanted to do was wrap him in my arms and never let go. “She had no right to tell anyone personal stuff about you.”
“It just sucks because I… I know I shouldn’t be embarrassed about what I like. It shouldn’t feel shameful. But… that doesn’t mean I want random people knowing, you know? And among demiurgus, being submissive is… It’s not that common. I don’t think, anyway. We’re just kind of built to be domineering. It’s what’s expected. But I’m just… not. I never have been.”
“So did she tell her friends about you being submissive, or you being a bottom?” I asked gently. “Because they’re separate things. What exactly was it that they thought they had a right to judge you for?”
“Both, I think.” He rubbed a palm anxiously over his thigh. “The submissive thing is unusual for demiurgus, but I think she found, um, me being a bottom weirder. But it’s not like I only like bottoming. We never did that, obviously, because she didn’t want to. We had sex in other ways.” He hunched up again, ears going crazy. “Sorry. You probably don’t want to hear this.”
“Greid, it doesn’t bother me at all.” I stroked my thumb over the side of his hand. “I’m an adult. I know you’ve had sex before. So have I.”
“Okay. Sorry,” he mumbled again automatically, then clutched my hand tighter. “God, you went out and got awesome sex toys for us and I’ve made it all serious.”
“Don’t be sorry.” I turned to face him, crossing my legs. “I promise you, Greid, I didn’t tell Corva anything, and I never would. She asked about my boyfriend, so when I told her you’re a demiurgus, she asked if we had sex. I just said that yes, we did, but you obviously can’t penetrate me because I’m human. I didn’t go into any more detail than that. I’d never do that to you.”
“I know you wouldn’t, berry.” He turned as well, cocking a knee up on the couch and clasping my hands. “I’m sorry I asked. I trust you.”
Sweet, silly demiurgus. I shifted onto my knees and wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling him into me. He buried his face against the bend of my neck with a sigh, squeezing me tight.
“I understand why you asked,” I told him, sifting my fingers through his hair. “I’m not offended. I’m glad you told me.”
I couldn’t believe Agma had done that. I’d always tried to keep my opinion on her neutral. She was just a person who used to be in Greid’s life. A closed-minded, insensitive person—with similar friends, evidently—but not a monster. Not evil.
Now I wanted to punch her in the face.
“I know it goes without saying, but there is nothing you could tell me you wanted that I would find weird.” Trying to bring some levity, I added, “Even if you told me you wanted me to dress up as a sexy clown and honk a big red clown nose while we had sex, it might take me a minute to get into it, but I’d be more than willing to try it out.” I pulled back and cupped his face with a grin. “Might be kinda fun, actually.”
He snuffled out a little laugh. “Pretty sure I’d be into you dressed up as a sexy anything, but the nose honking might be a little distracting.”
I smiled and stroked his sharp cheekbones with my thumbs. “Of the two of us, I’m the one with the strange baggage. You accepted me without question, sex cult past and all. And you accepted my vaginismus and aversion to penetration without question too. You… You’re an inherently good person, Greid. And I feel so lucky that I get to be with you.”
His big yellow eyes softened as a lump formed in my throat. He swallowed, voice thick as he said, “It’s the other way around, berry. I’m lucky.”
I gave him a watery smile. “Let’s just agree that we’re both the best, so we were always meant to be together.”
I’d said it jokingly, but Greid didn’t even smile. His gaze drifted down to my mouth as he nodded.
