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“When my life was nothing but…” He stopped and shook his head, then gave me a fragile smile as his fingertips moved over my skin, tracing something onto my chest. “You gave me something to cling to that I didn’t even have a name for. You didn’t even know I existed, but… you made me want more. Something for myself.”
“I wish you’d talked to me back then,” I whispered. “I wish you’d shown yourself to me like all the others did.”
He shook his head again. “I was a scared, lonely child who didn’t really know how to speak to anyone, let alone another boy my age.”
That made me want to cry. Mouth trembling, I whispered, “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be.” He lowered himself back down, resting his head on my chest again. “I survived it. I’m here.”
“Yes,” I whispered, and lifted my head to press a kiss to his hair, but went still when I saw his back. “Did you… get a tattoo?”
“What?” Lonan’s head popped up. He frowned at me in confusion.
Shifting upright, I gestured at him. “There’s something on your back.”
Still frowning, he sat up and peered over his shoulder, then went still when he saw it too. He repeated, “What?”
“Turn around.”
He did, sweeping his hair forward over one shoulder so I could see. I stared in disbelief at the tiny black feathers inked into his skin, spanning across his shoulder blades and down either side of his spine.
“They’re feathers,” I told him in shock. “They… they kind of look like… wings.”
He peered back at me with a frown. “How many are there?”
“Lots.” I traced over one. “Hundreds. Do you think they’re like the vows on my skin? But then why would they all suddenly appear at once? Have you made any vows since becoming king?”
“No.” Lonan went quiet as he mulled it over. After a few moments, he stiffened, and I saw realisation dawning on his face before he turned away.
“They’re deaths,” he said softly.
I went still, my fingertips pressed to his skin. “What do you mean?”
“Every life I’ve taken. I’ve been marked with them.” His shoulders heaved with a resigned sigh. “It’s only fair. I should remember all of them.”
“It wasn’t your fault.” I gazed at them in silence before something caught my eye. “Wait. There’s one gold one.”
Lonan peered back again. “Gold one?”
I nodded, tracing over the single gold feather on his right shoulder blade. “Here. A gold one. What do you think that means?”
He shifted back around to face me, his mind visibly churning as he stared at nothing, deep in thought. Then, to my surprise, his mouth slowly tilted up into a smile.
He reached out and rested his hand on the centre of my chest, over my heart. “I know what it means.”
When he didn’t elaborate, I chuckled, covering his hand with mine. “Are you going to tell me?”
“It’s you.”
I froze. “Me?”
He nodded, still smiling.
“But… how?”
“The night you… When the Carlin brought you here that night.” The smile dropped from his face as he looked down. “That’s what Sloga told me. I… played a part in you coming back.”
I stared at him. “Y-you mean… when I died?”
