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“Lonan,” I shouted, striding after him. “Don’t you fucking dare leave me.”
“I told you I’m going to the training ring.” His voice was still horrifyingly flat.
When I realised every single member of staff around us had stopped to watch, I came to a halt, my cheeks burning with humiliation. Lonan vanished through another door, and I stared at it for a long moment, my entire body trembling.
“My king?”
I whirled around at the sound of the hesitant voice, my body on high alert, hands clenching into shaking fists as I fixed my wild gaze on the approaching guard.
He stopped abruptly a short distance away, shifting from foot to foot. “Is there anything you need us to…”
Still breathing too hard and fast, I looked back at the door Lonan had vanished through.
Then I heard myself say, “Watch him. Keep eyes on him at all times. Tell me if he does anything unusual.”
The guard inclined his head. “Yes, Luad.”
“Tell all the guards to stop him if he tries to leave seelie. Do not hurt him. But stop him.”
“Yes, Luad.”
“I’ll go,” another guard said quickly, stepping forward. She was a broad-shouldered woman with brown skin and weathered hands, and she gave me a shallow bow before turning to her fellow guard. “I’ll keep an eye on Prince Lonan. You go tell the others.”
“Alright.”
I turned to head back to our quarters in silence, the anger still teeming through me leaving no room for any of the guilt I should have felt. Lonan already seemed to think I was a monster, so why not just become one?
Maybe I was just fighting fate by trying to be better than the Brid. Maybe it was time for me to accept it.
Chapter Twenty-One
Ash
“Are you sure you’re alright, Ash?”
Not even my brother’s soft, concerned voice could coax me out of my black mood as we approached the treeline. After being assured that Lonan was, indeed, in the training ring with the guard who had said she would watch him, I’d sent for Nua and asked if he’d come with me into the forest.
I’d told Lonan I would go, to see if there was anything I could do. I wasn’t going to let him make me a liar. So I was fucking doing it.
“Guess I’m just eager to see how much of a monster I am, destroying everything,” I bit out as I stamped toward the trees, my jaw still clenched so hard that my entire face was aching.
“You’re not a monster.” Nua sounded confused as he followed. “And I don’t think anyone believes you’re doing it intentionally, Ash.”
“They might,” I shot back. “Isn’t this what the Carlin wanted, just reversed? Isn’t this what she was going to eat me ‘bit by bit’ for? To take over everything?”
“Yes, but… that’s not what you’re doing.”
“They all might think I am though.” I waved vaguely in the direction of the treeline to our right, which stretched endlessly into the distance. “All those solitary Folk cursing me, demanding the Higher Spirits punish me. They clearly think I’m doing it on purpose, don’t they?”
“They’re scared,” Nua said evenly. “It is easy to overreact when you’re scared. But it might not be as bad as…”
He trailed off as we crossed the treeline and entered the forest, our eyes taking a second to adjust to the darkness that seemed to always shroud it no matter the time of day. Nua had brought us to an area so remote that the flora covering the forest floor was thick and unwieldy, reaching up to our waists. Odd paths formed by animal feet wound between thick tree trunks, and creatures rustled unseen all around us.
We were far from the heart of Orna, where the bulk of solitary Folk resided and where the Midsith was located, so there was little chance of us running into any other fae. This part of the forest looked ancient, untouched. Which was why, when the dry air carried the faint, sharp scent of smoke, my gut clenched in panic. Surely we were too far from any sidhes to be smelling hearth smoke.
What would happen to us all if the forest caught on fire?
Leaves were wilting, curling at their edges, their colours fading to an unhealthy brown. Ferns drooped sadly on the forest floor. Decaying flower petals released bursts of rot-scent with every step we took. Everything was dry. The air was hot and arid.
