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When Astrid slaps her very plump ass, both Beckett and I flinch in surprise.
“I have Astrid + Günter on the right cheek.” Slap! “And Für Immer on the left.” Slap! “That translates to Forever in English. My husband loves it… especially when the love making happens.” She giggles.
TMI.
“He has Forever tattooed here!” She points to her hipbone. “When I’m giving him… you know…” She purses her lips. “I can see it.”
We’re just passing through town. That is way more than we need to know about Astrid and Günter. Seriously, on a scale from one to ten of overshare, that was a solid three thousand.
Beckett and I are still rooted in silence.
“If you want, I can direct you to the shop. Gestempelt is close by. It means stamped.”
Whoa, lady!
You might want to start with must-see local landmarks first.
“I’m sorry, Astrid, but we have a problem.” Beckett finds his voice.
I’m still searching for mine.
“A problem?” she asks.
“Yes,” Beckett says. “As in, you might’ve made a mistake.”
“At the Lindelglück Gasthaus, we do not make mistakes!” She shakes her head with a small smile. “We only give top service!”
I think Beckett offended her.
“Sorry to burst your bubble, but in this case, there’s a mistake,” Beckett says.
“Burst my butt hole?” Astrid’s eyes widen with indignation. “No, no, no. I am married. And happy. I told you about the tattoos.” She adjusts her glasses.
Something got lost in translation.
“It is not good for you to say that in front of your new wife. Your marriage will not last, sir,” she says, her drawn-on eyebrows furrowing, and her finger wagging in disapproval. “Yes, I am very sexy for my age.” She caresses the sides of her body from her ample bosom to her wide hips. “But your offer is not right.” She shakes her head vigorously. “You, sir, will not burst my butt hole. Günter will not like that.”
I can’t keep it together.
Laughter erupts from me.
I turn around so Astrid doesn’t see me.
My whole body shakes and tears stream down my face.
Once I find my composure, I turn around.
“I said burst your bubble—Forget it!” Beckett waves it off. “What you need to focus on, Astrid, is the fact there’s been a mistake.”
To contain another outburst, I bite against my lower lip because who knows what else will get lost in translation.
“No, no, no!” Astrid shakes her head. “No mistake.”
Beckett lets out a frustrated sigh.
He pinches the bridge of his nose before speaking again. “Astrid, perhaps you might want to double check the reservation. I’m Beckett Christensen and this is Arianne Buchanan. We’re here on a two-day business trip and we should have two separate rooms reserved.”
“You’re not here on your honeymoon?” she asks.
