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As the evening begins to wind down, the stars outside sparkle brilliantly. Shay holds out her glass. “I can’t express how much tonight and the past couple of days have meant to me. Here’s to second chances and new beginnings. We all have our pasts, our mistakes. But it’s how we grow from them that defines us. Thank you, all of you. Feel free to hang around and enjoy the wine and company. Gondolas run until ten sharp.”
Our eyes meet, and for a fleeting moment, a world of emotions pass between us. I get up and walk over to where Shay’s sitting and lean over and speak softly so only she can hear. “I was wrong about you. I judged you based on the past and I shouldn’t have. You’ve shown what you’re truly capable of here. Would you be open to having a quick word?”
Shay’s eyes widen in surprise. “Austin, I…”
“I’ll be out on the patio.” I look over at Miles, who nods his approval. “I’d like it if you’d hear me out.”
On my way outside, I grab my jacket and scarf from the coat rack, feeling better than I have in a long time. While I’m ready to put this shit with Shay behind us, my heart is beating out of my chest at the idea of being alone with her.
“I’m right behind you.” Shay puts on her gloves before buttoning up her coat.
“Shay, I’m heading back down to the hotel, unless you need anything.” Cecily runs up behind us. “Thanks for including us in the dinner tonight.”
“Of course. And, no, everything is good here. Go hang out with that cute bartender you had your eye on. He’s definitely a five-star flirt alert.” Shay embraces Cecily and waggles her eyebrows at me from over her shoulder.
All the air whooshes out of my body. Memories from that night come flooding back. Anger bubbles up threatening to explode like a volcanic eruption.
“Flirt alert?“ I snap, my voice drips with contempt.
Shay looks utterly confused and possibly a bit embarrassed. “Uh…”
“Fuck you, Shay.” I shove my way through the glass doors outside and stomp over to a covered seating area at the far corner of the patio. It’s nearly pitch black out here, which matches my mood.
I’m such a sucker. I can’t help but mutter to myself, “I praised you, complimented you. What a fucking bitch. You haven’t changed one bit.”
“Austin.” Shay taps me on the shoulder, startling me. I didn’t realize she followed me out here. “Can we still have a conversation?”
I whirl around. “What could you possibly say to me, Shay? I’m an idiot. You’re encouraging the staff to play your little high school games. So fucking unprofessional. Do you know that I kept our secret from him? Despite everything?”
“Uh…” She looks around nervously, as if she’s scared Miles is behind us.
“You know what?” I plunk down on a chair and pat the one next to me. “Let’s do it. It’s time to hash this out once and for all.”
Shay gathers her coat around her and positions herself on the edge of the seat closest to me. She looks nervous. Confused.
Fuck it. I’m going all in.
“Why did you fuck me that night?”
Chapter eight
Shay
Ten Years Ago - Age 18
I’m so pissed my parents won’t let me drive.
If I had the car I wouldn’t be waiting for my BFFs Mindy Smith and Bianca Simpson to give me a ride home. It’s Friday, we finished cheerleading practice and I told them I was in a hurry. What the heck is taking them so long?
It’s not their fault, I guess. They have no idea my anxiety is driving me out of my mind. It’s my fault I left my medication in my bedroom and I’m over an hour late for my next dose. It’s probably no big deal but I can’t run the risk of having a seizure here at school.
Hurry. Hurry. Hurry.
I’m trying to stay calm but if anyone finds out… It would ruin me.
Nobody knows I have epilepsy but my immediate family. I’m definitely keeping it that way.
I can’t afford another colossal failure. As my mom always says, “popularity is currency.” In high school, the line between friends and enemies blurs every fucking day. I may have been forced to trade pageant competitions for cheerleading, but I’m not about to lose the status I’ve achieved.
