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I stare at him as my mind struggles to make sense of what he’s saying. “What do you mean?”
“Why wouldn’t you have your own life outside of mine, Shay? Your mom and dad are from a different era and sorry, no offense, but I don’t want to be with someone who’s content riding my coattails. I want a partner who has her own life. Her own ambitions. Someone who can be a real partner to me, not just a pretty face to stand by my side.” Devon’s voice is softer now but no less hurtful.
The words are like a slap. Have I not been a partner to him in the truest sense of the word? He wouldn’t be in the position he’s in without me. I feel tears sting my eyes as I try to comprehend how my perfect fairytale is turning into a nightmare.
“Devon…I still don’t get what you’re saying. After years of sacrifice, it sounds like you want to break up with me now that we’ve finally made it.” The words taste like ashes as they come out of my mouth.
“You seem to have a different recollection of the past few years.” He looks away, his face set. “But, yes. Since you haven’t taken the copious amounts of free time you’ve had on my dime to figure out your own future plan, I think it’s time for us to go our separate ways.”
I’m stunned stupid as my world crumbles around me. The future I’d dreamed of. The life I’d imagined. All shattered in an instant.
“You can’t be serious,” I choke out the words as tears spill down my cheeks. “We’ve been inseparable for more than eight years. Baby, you don’t want to do this. Not after everything we’ve been through, everything we’ve built together. I’m the one who knows you. I’m the one who has your back.”
When he looks into my eyes I don’t see any love or compassion whatsoever. The man I thought I knew doesn’t seem to be there. “I have to do what’s best for me. This is my time, my moment. I can’t let anything—or anyone—hold me back.”
“No. This can’t be happening.” I shake my head. Disbelief wars with the agony that’s ripping through my body. “How can you throw everything we built away?”
He reaches for his water glass and takes a swig. Motions for the server to bring us the check. “This has been coming for a long time. You’re great, Shay but you’ve never loved me for me. You adore the idea of a life you like to imagine we’d have together, but I could be anyone. As my agent advised me, I need to find a life partner who’s my equal. Who has her own things going. I know you’re hurting, and for that I’m truly sorry. Breaking things off now is the best thing for both of us, even if you can’t see it.”
I sit like a statue. Shocked and broken. Unable to find the words to fight for our relationship. To argue he’s wrong. I want to make him understand he’s making a terrible mistake. All I can do is cry. Tears are pouring out of my eyes in hot, angry waves as the reality of what transpired sinks in.
Tonight was supposed to be the start of our forever. The beginning of the next phase of our lives. Instead, it’s a cruel, brutal end that leaves me shattered and alone with nothing to fall back on.
I’m not enough.
Devon won’t even look at me as we wait for his payment to process. His face is set and determined. Literally how he looks on the field before he throws a hail-Mary touchdown on fourth down.
I wonder if what he said is true. Do I genuinely love him? Maybe I don’t know him at all.
I thought we were building something real, but clearly I’m wrong.
As I follow Devon through the restaurant, not knowing what’s coming next, I have an even gloomier thought.
What if my entire life has been a lie?
Chapter one
Austin
Six Months Later
What the actual fuck?
It’s scarcely November and it’s snowing in Seattle. From my corner office, I watch thousands of fluffy flakes drift in lazy spirals to the pavement fifteen stories below. We rarely get winter weather in the city. Never this early in the year.
Though it’s nearing eight a.m., the sidewalks and streets are practically empty. The city shuts down at the slightest hint of snow and today is no different, leaving downtown almost quiet and peaceful. Unfortunately, the turmoil in my mind churns like the froth on my extra-hot, double tall vanilla latte, which is cooling on my desk.
I’m about to get my day started when I notice a woman wearing a bright-pink coat and matching beanie with ridiculously high heels stop at the entrance to the building. She looks up at the sky, sticks out her tongue and whirls around in a circle with her arms outstretched like a little kid.
God, to be so carefree. Too bad she’s going to break an ankle in this weather.
“Austin, bro, you’re gonna love this!” Miles Stojanovic, aka Stodge, my best friend and business partner in our multimillion-dollar casual gaming company, Hungry Llama, barrels into my office like a tornado. He holds a snowboard in one hand and shoves a brochure at me with the other. “Executive retreat booked at Crystal Mountain. Look at this place. There are rooms to hold meetings and team building exercises. Lodging is onsite. Good food. Solitude so we can focus. I’ve even reserved the Summit House at the top of the mountain for a send-off dinner. Plus, if people want to ski or snowboard, it will be perfect.”
Stodge’s enthusiasm always puts me in a fantastic mood. It’s infectious; exactly like his passion for the business we started in college. He’s a creative genius, friend to all and the heart of Hungry Llama. I’m the numbers and operations guy who largely stays behind the scenes. Our opposite strengths have made us unstoppable in the gaming world. The past eight years have been an incredible ride.
“Yeah, it checks all the basic boxes.” I lean against my desk and study the brochure. The thought of being trapped on a mountain isn’t appealing at all. “How much is it going to cost? We’re there for business, not to have fun.”
Miles drops the snowboard and makes himself at home in my DXRacer Master gaming chair. “Dude. You’ve got to lighten up. We’re gonna gross close to a billion dollars this year. Puzzle Pet Paradise is crushing.” He leans forward. “The team is exhausted. Showing them how much we appreciate them is equally as important as the day-to-day shit.”
