AllFreeNovel
Share Us
It feels real. Feels like home. Feels like I finally found someone I can share my life with. Someone I can take care of, who equally wants to take care of me.
If only there weren’t a huge, overwhelming pile of garbage set right in the way of our future.
No matter how this feels right now, we won’t get anywhere long-term unless we can somehow break through the mess.
Reality is rarely kind. I know that as well as anyone. And the likelihood is that we’ll get buried under the pile rather than managing to plow it away.
I brood for a few minutes, absorbed with the stray analogy.
“You okay?” William asks.
His light, familiar voice breaks me out of my reverie. “Yeah,” I say with a smile. “Why do you ask?”
“Because I thought you were enjoying today, but you just now started feeling heavy.”
It’s unnerving how well he knows me. How easily he can read me. “Just random sober thoughts.”
“Anything you’d like to share?” He slants me a quick look.
Of course I want to share it with him. But I feel that huge mess looming. It’s too much. Too terrifying.
I’ve been feeling safe and happy for the first time in my life, and I’m not ready to give it up yet.
“Nah. Just random thoughts.”
“Okay. But I’m happy to hear any thoughts you have even if they’re random.”
I’m relieved that his tone is still light, casual. He’s not pushing, and his mood hasn’t changed. I reach over and rub his back briefly. “Thanks. I’ll keep that in mind.”
“You want some ice cream?” he asks, nodding toward a cart on the corner of the park.
I perk up. “Yes!”
He takes my hand, easing me out of the way of a jogging dad with a running stroller and then holding my hand as we make a beeline for the ice-cream cart.
We both get cones and find an empty bench to eat them. I giggle as I lick and nibble, trying to beat the melting of the ice cream. William eats his in bigger bites, but his eyes rarely leave my face.
If his expression wasn’t so soft, I’d be self-conscious, but as it is, his look feels like a warm caress.
When we’re done, he throws away our trash and then returns to the bench to wrap an arm around me. I lean against him, smiling as I close my eyes, relaxing against the familiar feel and scent of his body.
He’s enjoying this too. I know he is. The man I met almost three months ago would never have spent a lazy Sunday like this.
I’ve been just as good for him as he’s been for me.
“Sweetheart.”
I can’t tell if the word is a question or a random endearment. I adjust so I can peer up at his face.
He leans down to kiss me softly. Then holds my face. “Are you happy?”
My lips part. “Yes. I am. I have been.” I swallow hard. “Have you?”
“Yes. Happier than I thought it was possible for me to be. But…”
When he trails off, my chest clenches. “But what?”
“But I’m feeling like there’s a piece missing. I try to put it aside like we agreed, but it’s starting to nag at me. I’m wondering if you’re ready to… unpress pause.”
