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Priya sighs. “He’s got a good heart. I think people mistake Vince’s anxious interview persona for how he actually is. But he’s so much more sensitive than he lets on. It’s good to see him with someone who appreciates him fully,” Priya says.
“I do. He’s a great guy. Which is not what I expected when I met him,” I admit.
“I told him to drop the macho facade in 1995, and he never listened to me,” Priya quips.
“He should know better,” I joke.
“But he doesn’t. That’s what makes Vince, well, Vince. But with you, he’s so caring. It’s sweet to see. When we were dating, all we did was fuck, argue, and write songs. It made for a great record but a terrible relationship.
He’s so fucking stubborn, it annoys me to no end, but you don’t let him get away with any of that crap. You’re exactly what he needs,” Priya says sincerely.
“Thank you,” I mumble.
I know I don’t explicitly need Priya’s approval, but when you’re dating one-half of rock and roll’s most tumultuouscouples with the other half still in the band, it’s nice to get some form of green light.
“He wants me to come home with him next week,” I say.
Somehow, it feels like a bigger step than my mom inventing a hare-brained scheme to invite her favorite band to Thanksgiving. I could at least convince myself that Priya and Vince are humoring another fan, but Vince seems unusually sincere with this.
He’s been showing me pictures of his dog all week long and talking about his favorite trails to run. He wants to take me to brunch. I didn’t know he knew what brunch was. It feels like a lot and fast.
We spend most nights together, but it’s different when the proximity is intentional rather than forced. Other than our weekend in New York, I don’t know what Vince is like when he isn’t touring.
I don’t know if he’ll like the version of me that isn’t wrangling his schedule. When I’m home, I transform into an elderly woman. I crochet for fun!
Priya quirks up an eyebrow. “Really?”
“Yeah, but I don’t know. It feels like a big step.”
“Oh, it is,” Priya confirms. “Vince is super private. If he wants to show you his house, he wants you around for good.”
My stomach plummets when she tells me this. “Is it moving too fast?” I ask.
When I started hooking up with Vince, I thought I was blowing off some steam at most. Now, sitting in the back of a Lyft, waiting to free him shitty, surprisingly durable handcuffs, I realize that I genuinely care about him.
Priya shakes her head. “I don’t think so. You both care about each other. If anything, I think the two of you should stop pretending that you don’t fucking love each other. Take the leap! Stop lying to yourself! You found someone who understandsyou; that’s wonderful. That’s all anyone could hope for, really,” she says.
I sigh. “You’re right.”
“I know I am.” Impulsively, she hugs me as the Lyft driver idles at the curb. His jaw drops when he takes in “THE PLEASURE EMPORIUM,” written in gothic script.
“Have a great night,” the Lyft driver blurts as we exit.
“You too,” Priya calls, giving him a wave.
The interior of the Pleasure Emporium is covered in wall-to-wall sex toys and dildos with varying aspects of realism. I start to blush as I observe a girthy dildo (with veins!) guarding the register.
Priya’s eyes light up when she sees a wall full of “discreet” pocket vibrators. “It’s like they were made for tour!” She exclaims before adding, “Although I won’t need it when Jamie comes to town.”
I walk up to the register, being watched by a disaffected twenty-something wearing winged eyeliner. My palms are sweaty; why the hell am I nervous? I’m a grown woman!
“Hi, uh, I think you’re holding something for me. My name is Lyndsey,” I stutter.
The cashier nods. “Yeah! We talked on the phone. Here.” She hands me a pair of handcuffs, and I can see through the plastic packaging that they are identical to whatever’s currently keeping Vince chained to the bed. I feel like I can relax for the first time all night.
“Amazing, I think this is it!”
“Yeah, those keys are hamster sized. You’re the third person to have lost one this week. Luckily, this pack comes with an extra one. Try and keep it somewhere you’ll remember.”
