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Whether or not he can tell, I’ll never know because he bends down and kisses me until my soul splits in two.
I’m not sure if it’s after he kisses me senseless, or when he’s cleaning up my thighs despite my strong protest, but somewhere in there, he sees it. The mood shift. My body has never been lifted as high as Elliot took it, and now I’m terrified I’ll never experience him again.
It’s naive of me to think there is anything after this. That someone like him is the type to want to explore what could come next for us. The forbidden aspect was likely the only thing that piqued his interest, and now…
Well, now I feel as if I let my libido, and the wistful part of my heart lead me right to heartbreak’s doorstep.
Still, I try to force the burn of unshed tears to ebb. It’s just sex, after all. But somewhere deep down, I know it wasn’t that for me. It wasn’t eight years ago when I’d tried to avoid him like the plague for this very reason. It wasn’t like this when I’d slowly began to peel back his many layers, storing each bit of the picture until I was able to make out the big image. And it definitely wasn’t when I had to sit at dinner tables with him, work together on SAT prep, or see him in the crowd during every game I played.
This entire thing has been brewing for far longer than tonight, and I’m almost mad at myself for allowing it to happen. Because now, how am I supposed to go on without it? Without him.
“Hey.” Elliot tips my chin toward him, so I’m forced to look at him. “Where are you?”
I give him a small smile. It’s forced but I hope he can’t see it. “Right here.”
“No, you’re not.” He glides the warm towel over the bite marks he left on my thigh, and I wince. It doesn’t hurt as much as it is sore. “What are you thinking about?”
I drag my bottom lip through my teeth.
Be brave.Tell him.
My mind, or maybe the thrumming muscle in my chest, begs. I want to—I do—but I’m not that person. I don’t move without weighing the pros and cons. I can’t.
But when I look into Elliot’s eyes and see the smallest hint of worry creasing the corners, I force it out. Even if I fall flat on my face, I can say that at least I said something.
“It’s just…it kinda sucks this is for only tonight.”
His brows crease. “Who said anything about this only being once?”
“You didn’t plan on this being a one-time thing?”
He shakes his head, but his expression hints at the border of solemnity.
I try to huff laughter, but it comes out dry. “So what? Did you want to be my stepbrother with benefits?”
Elliot’s eyes narrow. “Is that what you want?”
My lips part, but nothing comes out. My nerves tingle as if to sound the alarm, though the knot in my throat keeps me from saying anything. Maybe it’s because, in reality, I’m still so unsure of him and what he wants to come from this.
So ask.
I clear my throat, swallowing hard around the lump. “What do you want, Elliot?”
He answers without a second’s hesitation. “You.”
The sincerity and heaviness in his words cause butterflies to take flight in my chest. They whip around in a frenzy, so lost in what to do, they make my heart pause a beat.
“That could mean so many things—-”
“No.” The crease between his brow deepens, and I fight the urge to reach up and smooth it. “It means I only want you. How ever you’ll have me.”
“So if I said I wanted to explore whatever this could be, you’d say okay?”
He’s silent for a moment, his gaze drifting over my face without expression. “Would you believe me if I said I didn’t need to explore what I already know?”
I roll my eyes, but inside, my chest warms. “I would say that’s the effects of the euphoric bliss.”
He takes the towel and stands, holding out one of his hands. “Come with me.”
