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“Oh, well…my parents wereImmigrants—they came to theUSfromCuba,”Celiaexplained. “Theywere good parents—as far asIcan remember—but they were in theUSillegally.Theydidn’t have permission to be there.Soanyway, my mom got sick, but she was too afraid to go to the doctor—afraid the authorities might deport her, you know?”
“Mmm-hmm.”Fiercenodded and she heard an assenting rumble fromHoldas well.Bothof them really seemed interested, which surprised her.Peterhad never asked much about her past—he seemed to think it was distasteful that she’d been raised in “disadvantaged circumstances” as he put it.
“Goon,” theDarkTwinurged. “Sowhat happened to your mother?”
“Well…it turned out that the sickness she had was…was cancer.”Celiawas surprised to find she was choking up a little.Shemade an effort to steady her voice. “Soshe died.Andthen my father got caught and deported,” she added, trying to keep her voice dry and unemotional.
“That’sterrible, my lady,”Holdmurmured sympathetically. “Howold were you when all this happened?”
Celiaswallowed hard.
“Six,” she whispered.Sheclosed her eyes briefly, trying not to remember that first night in foster care.Howsmall and frightened and lonely she’d felt…how she cried for her mother and father but they never came… “I…Iused to think that maybe my father would come back for me or that he would send for me,” she said softly. “But, well…he never did.Later,Ifound out he’d been killed in an accident at his work after he got back toCuba.Dios!Ihaven’t thought of that in ages.”Shesniffed and lifted a hand to swipe at her eyes.
“I’mso sorry,lelka,”Fiercemurmured and she felt his big hand cup her cheek again. “Ididn’t mean to ask something that made you cry.”
“It’sall right.”Celiatook a deep breath. “Youdidn’t know.”
“Itmust have been hard, being raised by strangers,”Holdsaid softly. “Butyou never told us why you went to so many different homes?Wasthat just how the system worked?”
Celiachoked out a sound that was half laugh/half sob.TheLightTwinhad inadvertently asked her something almost as painful as the question about her parents.
“No, not exactly,” she said and took a deep breath. “Someof the homes were just temporary—Iknew that going in.Butin some of them,I…well,Igot into trouble for defending myself.”
“Defendingyourself?”Fierceasked, and she could hear the frown in his voice.
“Youknow—against…unwanted advances.”Celiacouldn’t think of a better way to put it. “Unfortunately, the, uhFosterCaresystem lends itself to a lot of abuses,” she went on, trying to keep her tone dry. “ButIwasn’t going to just take it, you know?SoIfought—Ifought alot.”
“Wait…you don’t mean…”Holdbegan, sounding horrified.
“ImeanIwent around with a knife in my pocket,”Celiasaid shortly. “AndIused it several times.Mostlyon foster brothers—other kids that were in the same house as me who tried to take advantage, thependejos.ButonceIhad to use it on one of my foster fathers.Igot moved out ofthathouse in a hurry—not that anyone did anything to him for what he tried,” she added bitterly.
“Youmean you were sexually assaulted?”Fiercesounded angry now—his deep voice dropping to a growl.
“Iwas groped a lot—Ihad several near misses,”Celiasaid, keeping her tone even and matter of fact. “ButIwas never actually raped.Iwas lucky.”
“That’shorrible that you had to live with that fear!”Holdsounded as upset asFiercewas. “Howcould the humans put a child into such an abusive environment?”
“What—you’re telling me thatKindredmen never rape anyone?”Celiademanded. “Whydo you thinkIfreaked out whenIwoke up and found myself naked between the two of you?Iwas having flashbacks to several near missesIhad back…back whenIwas a kid,” she finished in a low voice.
“No, we don’t force ourselves on women,”Fiercegrowled. “ButnowIdon’t blame you for hitting me in the ribs,” he added. “Ofcourse you were frightened, having been through all that!”
“Totake a woman against her will is anathema to us,”Holdexplained. “TheKindredworship theGoddessand we believe that every woman has a bit of her inside—an innate spark of divinity that makes her worthy of worship.Todefile a female by taking her by force would be a damning act—the worst thing a male could do, and he would be shunned and punished severely for it.Possiblykilled.”
“Well…that’s certainly a different way of looking at things,”Celiasaid.Shetried to imagine a world in which she never had to look over her shoulder or be scared that a man who was bigger and stronger than her might take advantage…and found it very hard to do.
Tobe honest, one of the reasons she’d been attracted toPeterwas because he was so small and weak-looking.She’dtaken one look at him and thought,Icould take him—no problem.Andso when he had asked her out, she’d said yes without hesitation.
“Ijust can’t believe that the human males are such fucking degenerates that they’re constantly forcing themselves on women,”Fiercegrowled. “I’mso fucking sorry you had to grow up that way,lelka.”
Celialifted her chin.
“Itwas rough for a while, but it’s over now.I’man adult with a good life andI’veput my past behind me.”
Itwas a line she told herself often, when the pain and loneliness of her childhood tried to creep into her memory and poison her peace.Butnow, even in her own ears, it sounded false.Itsurprised her that she’d talked about the awful old memories to the two big warriors.She’dnever shared that part of herself with anyone—not evenPeter.Notthat he’d asked, of course…
“Idon’t think we ever get completely over some pain,”Holdsaid softly andCeliafelt him stroking her hair. “FierceandIlost our parents too,” he added.
“Youdid?How?”Shetwisted her head to look up at him.
