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“Why would I want to see my parents who murdered me? Gosh, I don’t know, maybe because it wasn’t their fucking fault.Maybeit’s because I’m looking at the asshole who did it.”
My chest clenches and I try to shake the hurt he’s sending to me but it stays put.
“Tell me why, love.”
I roll my eyes and shift on my feet. The cold is starting to numb my legs and I’m sure by now my ears have suffered frostbite. “I had to see them again… but they’re dead. You probably already know that, or just don’t fucking care, so… can we just go inside now? I’m freezing my wings off.”
His eyes soften on me and he holds a hand out, waiting for me to take it. I study him for a moment, keeping my healing organ close to its cage, before reaching a hesitant hand to his.
Arulius pulls me into him and wraps his golden wings around us. I’m instantly encased in warmth and the strong scent of rain. I take a deep breath of him in and wait for whatever it is he has to say.
“I didn’t know. I’m sorry for your loss… I know it’s my fault. I know…I knowyou’ll never forgive me and I’ll never ask that of you. But please, Elodie,pleaselet me love you.” His arms tighten around me and I can feel the chaos of pain this causes him.
My refusal to love him.
“Please just let me love you. I’ll do anything.”
I push my hand between us and look up at him. My stunning golden Eostrix, once so beautiful and perfect. He’s weary and filled with so many regrets now. Aren’t we all. We’re withered and weathered, a somber shadow of what we once were.
“You won’t do anything though. Don’t you see that? Theonething you could do that would be a baby step toward earning forgiveness would be to help me make this right, Arulius.”
He presses his forehead against mine. “I would do that and more if I could, love… but…”
“But what? Tell me so I can at least hear your excuse.” His purple eyes fill with pain and he bites his lip. My eyes stay there a moment longer than they should.
“I’ll tell you… but not here or now.” He lifts his head to look around us like he’s worried someone’s listening. “I’ll come get you this afternoon. Dress warm.” He leans down and kisses me quickly before unwrapping his wings from around me and turning to walk back into Nesbrim.
I follow behind with a dreadful feeling swirling in my stomach.
* * *
Rune’s waiting in my room for me like I knew he would be, leaning against the wall with his head down. I’ll never understand why my Dreadius likes to sleep like that, but I enjoy looking at him while he does. His tattooed arms are tightly crossed and I let my eyes linger over his sharply cut jawline, the dark lines of his neck tattoos making me hungry just looking at him—stop.
I shake my head.
I know he doesn’t mind, even relishes in making sure I have what I need, but I hate using him like that. Ihatethinking of him as food.
I walk in quietly and let him rest since it’s my fault he’s been up all night. I fight the urge to nap. There’s way too much chaos in my head to sleep.
Sitting on the bed, I grab the books and spread them out over the sheets. Now that I won’t be fucked into oblivion while I try to study, maybe I can learn something this time.
I open the book of creatures, skipping past all the ones I already know. I’ll have to come back to them later if I ever need to know more, but for now I have to find out what Violet’s powers are exactly besides creating portal-glass. I need to see if I can find anything that remotely resembles the fucked-up skull in the basement.
I have a few blissful hours of quiet. I tear out a few promising pages from each book. Of course I can’t find anything that screams at me, but I do manage to find some older entries that don’t have images. I toss the last book to the side and spread out the tattered pages on the bed.
I hear a floorboard creak that lets me know Rune’s awake. At least he got a few hours of rest. I keep my eyes plastered to the words, looking for—there!
Gods of Ruling.
It’s so old and smudged that I almost missed it. Thank gods I took a second look, this might help me get some insight on Violet. I won’t have enough time before Arulius comes to get me, so I’ll have to save any important pages for later. I fold the page and shove it in my pocket. Rune steps to the other side of the bed, his eyes still drunk with sleep, but he’s more interested in what I’m doing than resting.
His crimson eyes meet mine and he raises a brow, glancing back down to the pages scattered across the sheets.
I raise my hand and rub the back of my head. “I’m looking for information on creatures with weird sharp teeth and bond-breaking.” I try to laugh it off awkwardly but he just looks back up at me.
“Teeth? Describe them.”My spine warms with his power. I wish he could be freed from the chains of his curse. He should be able to talk just like the rest of us.
“Umm… kind of like this.” I raise my hands to each side of my face and make them look like fangs.Wait—shit, I already have fangs.I lower my hands, feeling stupid because he’s already got a cocky-ass grin on his lips. “Like fangs but for every tooth.” I toss a pillow at his face for being smug.
