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Worth it.
She looks up at me. An unhinged light glints in her eyes as she glides her claw across my tender flesh. My throat spills and I choke with the assault. She grabs a fistful of my hair and slams my face into the half-filled bucket. Crimson meets my eyes and dips up my nose.
My senses flood with iron as I try not to inhale, but the blood is rising and I can’t breathe. The pain in my throat pulses and I can feel the liquid pump steadily out of me. I thrash my arms and legs, trying anything to get leverage to lift my head or to push her, but she has a tight hold on me.
I start to panic. Undiluted fear takes over as my muscles begin to weaken. My lungs are on fire and I can feel blood soaking my hands and knees as the bucket overflows.
Fuck,I really pissed her off, didn’t I?
I know she won’t kill me, whatever her reasoning is. Maybe she thinks I do know where Lucius is and I’m just being a wrathful cunt? She’s so desperate.
I feel a sharp tug on my hair and then my head is out of the bucket of blood. I inhale deeply, gasping and coughing as I’m thrown to the tile. I use the back of my forearm to wipe my eyes free of the crimson so I can see, fear still dancing in my veins. Arulius is crouched down next to me. His arm is freshly bitten and he presses it to my lips, urging me to heal, but I tighten my mouth.
He furrows his brows. “You need to feed.Now. You’ve lost too much blood, love.” He tries again, bringing his arm to my lips, but I turn my head, the sliced skin of my neck still throbbing horribly.
Arulius winces at the pain and I can see his anger flaring up behind his amethyst eyes. He knows I don’t actually want to die. I just want to hurt him in any way that I can, and if that means refusing his blood and letting his throat burn like mine does for a little longer, then so be it. He dips his head and stares at me with annoyance before he looks at the guards and snaps his fingers.
“Willow, come here.”
The beautiful Eostrix paces over quickly and is on her knees at my side within seconds. She keeps her eyes on me as Arulius bites her wrist and offers it to me.
I falter.
I didn’t mean for her to get dragged into this. I glance from her to Arulius and back. She keeps her green gaze locked on mine and nods, telling me that it’s okay. I don’t want to, likereallydon’t want to. I’ve never tasted another Eostrix’s blood except Kastian’s and Arulius’s.
“It’s okay, Elodie.” Willow’s voice is steady and light. I can’t imagine what she thinks of me, having watched me be the High Lady’s toy for half a year now. She’s nice—not nice enough for me to trust her, but enough for me to accept help.
I take her arm into my mouth and bite down, taking in her blood in hard pulls. She shudders under my lips. Her blood is rich, thick with flavors of hearty fruits. Pomegranate maybe? I take another deep pull of her and break my contact from her skin.
My wing snaps straight, painlessly, but the sound still makes me nearly dry heave. My throat warms and the flesh molds back together. I let out a low breath, relishing in the instant relief. Willow smiles at me kindly and quickly hops up and makes her way back to the guard line.
Arulius keeps his eyes trained on me. My chest tightens with his torment. I’m no stranger to his agony, his endless torture that he faces alongside me. In truth, I think he feels everything worse than I do. His guilt is ruining him. I can see it in his gaze day in and day out. Slowly, his light is diminishing, and I’m not sure how much more he can take.
Watching me slowly wither plagues him, twists his heart, and makes him beg for my own hand to strike him.
I bite my quivering lip to keep my emotions reigned in. I never asked for any of this. I just want to… exist. Is that so much to fucking ask for? I want to be happy. With Margo, Kastian, Wren, and Moro, and… and Arulius too, but that all was fucking ruined.
We can never go back. Our fates are forever scathed and we can only move forward.
I let my eyes dull as I stare, half-lidded, up at Violet, praying to the gods that she is done for the day. She’s got her fucking bucket of blood.
She holds my gaze with her dark crimson eyes. “That will be all.” She flicks her wrist at Arulius and motions for Kol to collect her bucket, and then she makes her way out the small door in the far corner of the white room.
I try to follow her with my eyes. I have to figure out her plan with all of this, because none of it makes any godsdamn sense. But my eyes are blocked as the golden Eostrix moves in front of my view, brows drawn tight and worry emanating from his amethyst eyes.
“Let’s get you cleaned up, love.”
“Don’t fucking touch me,” I spit at him. His eyes widen. I don’t want to even look at him. Old memories have been warring with me all morning, more than usual, and I have the urge to tear his throat out.
He tries to move to help me as I stand, but I glare at him, stopping him mid-motion. Arulius bites down on his lip to keep whatever he wants to say to himself.Thank gods.
I stand on shaky legs and steady myself before walking barefoot back to my prison cell. Well, not really a cell, it’s Arulius’s entire mansion, but it’s a prison to me. Jailed. Kept from the things I love and from being free. There aren’t many things I can find happiness in anymore, but one thing I’ve grown to love is my day pass in town. To fully explore and enjoy Nesbrim as long as I have a guard. It’s the one decent thing about Violet—she may be a bitch, but at least she doesn’t give a shit what I do as long as she collects the red liquid in my veins.
I keep my pace quick as my golden one follows close behind. Violet’s court is beautiful, there’s no denying it, though after walking these halls so many times, often leaving a trail of blood in my wake, the lure is almost completely gone. Almost.
As we pass the main doors of her palace I turn and catch a glance at them, the doors I walked through for the first time with Wren under a year ago.
Borvon and Talia. Their hands reaching for one another, never to connect, wrought in white stone and clad in permanent gold.
