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I eye the handkerchief that’s wrapped around his finger. His blood is already soaking through the fabric.
“What happened to your finger?” I return my gaze to my bag as I put my clothes in piles on the bed, setting aside my nightshirt so I don’t lose it.
“I cut it.”
I freeze. The blood chills in my veins and goosebumps crawl up my arms. I’m reluctant to look at him, but my need to see his expression prevails.
Liam unravels the handkerchief from his finger. The wet, red rag sends false waves of pain through the wounds on my wrists. Sweat beads down the back of my neck and my mouth opens a bit with horror.
Ihatepain. Seeing someone hurt, being hurt, any sort of pain—I can’t stand it. I want it to stop. The gash in his flesh is deep and his blood pools quickly, flooding over and spilling down his hand once more.
I instinctively rush to his side and I clasp his hand gently to see how badly he hurt himself. The cut is deep, but it’s not anything life-threatening and won’t affect the functionality of his hand.
“Why did you do this?” I shake my head. I can’t understand why he’d… My gaze trails down his hand and arm. Scars of all sorts and sizes mark his beautiful olive skin. They’re hard to see because of his tattoos, but they are there. Some old, most new. “You—”
He brings his hand up to my cheek and presses his palm against my skin softly, running his bloody finger across my flesh as his lips form a wicked smile. My chest grows heavy and the air becomes harder to breathe in. Anxiety and stress make the effects of my heart condition worsen, but I can’t calm the chaos in my mind right now.
I can’t room with someone like him.
“I’m a masochist, Wynn. I crave the endless ebbs and flow of pain to feel alive. It’s really grounding for me.” His blue eyes flicker with amusement at my repulsion.
“I… I can’t be your r-roommate,” I stammer as my heart rate increases and I move toward the door. I’m going to be fucking sick. How could Jericho think this is a good fit? I’m fucking leaving. Right now.
Liam’s hand wraps around my wrist and pain flares up my still-healing wound. I yelp and turn on him but he doesn’t let go. His eyes are an icy inferno and his smile twists as I wince.
“Let go!” I scream at him and viciously claw at his hand. He loosens up enough so the pain stops but doesn’t completely let go of me.
“Don’t you see?” he mutters quietly, so calmly that I stop and stare bewilderedly at him. His oaky scent consumes me as he leans in close, his nose touching mine. My heart pounds erratically inside my chest and my cheeks heat. “We’re the perfect elixir. I want to feel alive so fucking desperately—I’ll chase the high forever if I have to. Nothing’s worked for me yet.”
He lets go of my wrist and something warm and wet runs down my hand, dripping down my fingers and tapping on the black tiles.
I open my mouth to say something,anything,but nothing comes out.
There’s so much blood.
Fear stings my mind and my voice gets stuck in my throat. My vision blurs. I can’t breathe.
“You want to die. I hate that so much, Wynn. The thought of you wanting to leave this world hurts me, but… for the first time, it’s a pain that I really don’t like. It’s disgusting to me that you don’t want to live. You don’t like seeing pain or enduring it, right? You’d rather run away and not feel anything.”
Tears pool in my eyes and my stomach twists. This interaction is traumatizing. I want to leave. I want to scream.
He’s saying that someone as cruel as him could be my—
“Remedium meum,” he murmurs, a breath away from my lips, smiling as he gently runs his fingers up my arms. I take a deep breath of his crisp scent and quirk a brow. I don’t speak Latin, but I’ve watched enough horror movies to know that anyone who does is either a hardcore Catholic or into occult stuff. Neither option is great for me. “Remember our promise?”
I hesitantly nod.I have to wait… But what about him? I didn’t know he was as unwell as I am. “What did you say just then?”
His blue eyes darken and he leans in close, his lips cresting the shell of my ear. “My cure.” His voice is a mere whisper but it sinks into my bones. “I’ll stop you in your darkest hours. Do you promise to do the same for me?” Liam pulls back and his lips brush against mine. Heat pools in my core with every single sensation this man pulls from me. The fear he instills dances alongside it.
Instinct tells me he’s dangerous—but I cannot pull away from him. He’s gravity itself. I was caught in his orbit the moment I laid eyes on him at the hospital.
I consider him for a moment. He’s bold, crazy, everything I’m not. But he’s right. I run away from emotions and I’m here to face my demons, aren’t I? Maybe he’s insane, but I don’t think there’s a chance I’ll survive without a little insanity.
I told James I’d try my best.
After thinking for a minute, I look up at him, clenching my fists.
“Yes, I will.”
