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I shake my head. “No. I… I hurt him.” My hands still tremble with the adrenaline rushing through my veins.
Liam stands, the air between us suddenly colder than it’s been in weeks. “Everything’s fine. Get out.” He scowls at Lanston , holding his arm to cover the red that’s spreading through the fabric.
Lanston looks at me once more and only stands to leave after I nod at him. “I’ll see you later, okay?” I utter, remembering we’re to meet tonight at the greenhouse.
“Yeah… See you later.” His eyes are filled with worry, but he reluctantly leaves.
I lock the door to make sure no one else bursts in on us and sit next to Liam on his bed. He doesn’t look at me—his eyes are weary and distant again. Instead of trying to talk, I open his drawer and grab his medical supplies.
He doesn’t fight me when I carefully pull his shirt off. The bite isn’t too deep, but it still broke his skin. Liam watches me in silence as I dab the wound with ointment and clean it before wrapping it with gauze and medical tape. Tears fall from my eyes as I work.
How could I do this? I’m just as awful as everyone says I am.Just as heartless and cold as I was raised to be. All I do is hurt people, no matter how hard I try not to. I can’t exist on neutral ground. No one sees me as the person I sometimes dream I am.
A nice girl.
A person worthy of love.
A soul that didn’t crawl up from hell.
If I wasn’t here anymore, it would all stop. The pain. The dread. All the things that hurt my stupid conscience… If I die, maybe I’ll wake up somewhere better.
Or I’ll just be dead.
And I’m okay with that too.
“Does that feel better?” I can’t keep the guilt from my shaky voice.
He meets my eyes and nods.
I move to get up but he grabs my wrist. I don’t turn to look at him. I remain facing my bed and looking at the mess I’ve made. I feel hollower inside than I’ve felt for weeks—sincethatnight. That’s how fast I can make the decision. That’s how irrational and stupid I am.
I don’t want to be here anymore. I don’t want to beme.
“You’re not going to leave, are you?”
My jaw tightens before I mutter, “What if I do?”
He slowly releases my wrist and I stand in place for a few minutes, neither of us saying a word, before picking my bag and sweaters off the floor.
Does he hate me again?
I know I do.
20
Liam
Wynn textedher brother back before we left for dinner.
Something’s wrong.
Once her eyes finally dried, a darker resolve settled in place of the tendrils of hope I saw days ago.
She stared blankly at her phone until he messaged her back. Whatever he responded with made her feel less guilty about the money. She doesn’t have that fight-or-flight look in her eyes anymore, which makes me feel a little more at ease.
But the darkness, the hurt,thatworries me.
Lanston and Yelina sit with us at dinner. I’m sure he’s told her everything already by the way her eyes keep flicking over to my arm with worry.
