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“Isn’t your whole vibe to like, not have a plan?”
“I guess,” I chuckled. I found myself rubbing my arm against the back of my neck, unsure of how to go about things. She was right. I rarely had a plan. I kind of winged life, and most of the time I liked it that way. Except now, I hated it because I didn’t know how to wing this– telling Penelope that I was in love with her.
After a moment of awkward silence, she smiled softly and said, “We should probably get back to the party, Carter.” I started to follow her, fully prepared not to say another word. Prepared to let this go.I should let this go. I felt a pang in my chest, a reminder of the dull ache inside my heart. She was clearly overwhelmed already. It would be inconsiderate of me to dump my guts on her just to make myself feel better.
Against my better judgment, I strode up behind her and grabbed her hand. She whipped to face me with a puzzled expression. I looked around quickly, unsure of what I was even doing. The kitchen pantry was on my right, so I yanked the door open and pulled her inside, shutting it behind us. The pantry was small, causing us to be pressed up against each other chest to chest. She leaned back as far as she could and I could tell, even in the dark, her eyes were wide in shock and confusion.
“Carter–” she began to protest but I cut her off.
“I don’t know if I’ll be able to live with myself if I don’t do this, and now may be my last chance,” I said through bated breaths, my face closer to hers than it had ever been.
“Okay,” she whispered, to my surprise. She said okay.
She said okay.
I didn’t know what I was expecting her to say, but it wasn’t that. As my eyes adjusted to the darkness, I began to make out her features. Her eyes were still wide, now with anticipation rather than shock. Her perfect lips parted just slightly, feeling like an invitation.
There were so many words that should’ve been coming from my mouth. So many things I was supposed to be telling her. Yet, I found them lodged in my throat because it felt as if there were not enough words to be said. No words to describe the intensity that I felt in that proximity to her. My hand cupped her face and I rubbed my thumb across her cheek. She shivered at my touch but didn't flinch or recoil. Time seemed to suspend itself as my hand moved down her cheek and behind her neck. I leaned into her, bringing my face so close that I could feel her breath against my lips. I stopped, waiting for her to tell me no. Waiting for her to pull away. She didn’t say no, though. She didn’t pull away, either. She didn’t hesitate whensheclosed the gap between us.
Her lips felt as soft, as warm, and as perfect as I always thought they would. It was gentle in a way I would’ve always expected. Almost timid, the way her hand found itself on my chest. I didn’t just want to kiss Penelope anymore. Ineededto kiss her. I never needed something more.
Her head tilted to the side, opening her mouth to me. A small moan escaped her throat and I thought I may very well lose myself right in that moment. I tangled my fingers into her hair, deepening the kiss. My other hand came around her back and dug into her hips. I kissed her with everything in me. All the words I couldn’t say, all the emotions floating in my head. I kissed her with all the fervor in my body and all of the force inside my soul. I traced my tongue across her lip, groaning as I tasted her for the very first time. She tasted like strawberries and wine.
So, so sweet and harmfully intoxicating. I was fully drunk on her. Head foggy by her lips, body flaming by her touch. If her kisses were the new alcohol, then my heart must surely be the new liver, because this would ruin me beyond repair.
I pushed those thoughts aside, unconcerned with the aftermath. I brought my hand away from her head and slowly slid down her neck, over her shoulder, my fingers snaking across her collar bone.
God, I love her collar bones.
A body part that should be entirely inconsequential, but on her, utterly alluring. I explored her body slowly and with care, touching only the places I think she’d allow. Something in the way she pressed against me told me she’d be okay with any of it, but I knew the moment may be the only of its kind, and I dared not do anything that would jeopardize it. I moved down her waist and back to her hips, feeling the way they flared out in contrast. I brought my hand around to her backside, hoping she’d allow me to take my exploration to the next level because I wasn’t sure I could constrain it any longer.
“Penelope,” I groaned against her lips as she nipped on mine. Her name tasted like candy, her body feeling like heaven itself inside my arms. She hummed against me but didn’t let up, devouring my mouth once more. Her breath was labored, and I could feel her heartbeat mix with mine, creating a drumming as our chests pressed together.
“Penelope!” Her name echoed in my mind. She paused suddenly and I realized that her name was not ringing inside my head but through my house. Someone was looking for her. She pulled back, her eyes fluttering open in slow motion as she floated back to reality. I was in space with her, also needing a moment to come back down to earth. Her eyes were hooded, dopey. I could tell her head was swimming with passion.
Her name rang out again and she blinked rapidly a few times as she adapted to her surroundings. I cupped her face, knowing the moment was just about to be over. All the words previously logged in my throat were now on the tip of my tongue and I was ready. I tilted her head to face mine. Her eyes, devastating through her long lashes, looked at me.
“Penelope, I–”I’m in love with you.
“I can’t do this,” she whispered. Her voice broke in a heart wrenching resonance. She sighed and dropped her eyes before glancing back at me briefly. The look lasted only a fraction of a second but within it I saw everything she couldn’t say. For the first time ever, I knew that Penelope Mason felt exactly the way that I did.
And there wasn’t a damn thing either of us could do about it.
She slipped out of the pantry quickly, shutting the door behind her. I stayed behind, letting her return to the outside world alone so it wouldn’t be obvious we’d been together. I leaned my forehead against the wall, lightly pounding my fist on the door. The words I never got to say still hung off my tongue:
Penelope, I’m in love with you.
I know you’re leaving tomorrow but I can’t let you go without telling you.
Chapter One
Penelope
“I THINK WE GOT LUCKY HERE. I’d almost call it a twist of fate.”
I blinked, the words flowing into my ears and requiring an extra second to comprehend. “What?” I asked, realizing I hadn’t been paying attention. I’d felt uneasy since Mr. Collins found me in the hall this morning and asked if I could meet with him in his office during my prep period. He’d never asked to meet with me one-on-one before, and if his reputation served him right, these types of meetings werenevera good thing.
It certainly must not have been helping that I had entirely zoned out since the meeting started. He blinked back at me. “Well, I suppose I should just get to the point then, shouldn’t I?” He laughed awkwardly. “At the most recent School Board meeting, I explained that we have been unable to find a substitute to cover Mrs. Carlson’s leave of absence due to the extraordinary shortage in available teachers, and we discussed canceling art classes for the rest of the year.”
