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“Why didn’t you ever say anything? I never thought you liked me that way.”
“I was scared, I think,” Cash admits. “I didn’t think you saw me as anything more than a friend. And I had just lost my parents; I couldn’t stand the idea of possibly losing you, too. I convinced myself…”
He runs his hand through his hair before continuing with a sigh. “I convinced myself it was better not to let myself love anyone else. Then it wouldn’t hurt so much when I lost them. And then, when my grandparents both died… the fear grew even more.”
My heart aches for him. I lost my dad, but Cash lost his entire family. “I understand. I was scared, too. After my dad… and then…”
“I always felt something for you,” I confess. “Since high school. But you never seemed interested. And then you said you didn’tdorelationships…”
Cash grimaces, his eyes flickering with pain. “Ari…”
“If I said something, and you pulled away from me… I couldn’t lose your friendship. If that was all I could have, it was better than not having you at all.”
“Ah, hun.” Cash’s voice vibrates with emotion. “You would never have lost me. If I had known…”
Tears prick behind my eyes, emotion welling up. “You would never have lost me, either. But maybe we needed this time to be ready. For both of us to be willing to risk it.”
His gaze sears into me; there’s so much feeling within. “I promiseyou, Ari. I’m willing to risk everythingfor you.”
I can’t speak. The words—I love you—are right there, a second from spilling out.
Not now. Not in the restaurant, and I just need to be sureabout Cash’s feelings. So I whisper the next closest thing to it. “Me too, Cash.”
We stare at each other, our gazes heavy with things unsaid.
After a few seconds, Cash gives me a crooked grin. “What do you think about wrapping these desserts up? And we can enjoy them later. In bed.”
I smile at him, my heart so full it’s bursting. “As long as I get to try some of that chocolate cake.”
“Ari.” His voice softens. “You can have anythingyou want.”
Chapter 14
CASH
Coming out here is like stepping back in time.
Crunching through the snow, our breath puffing in silvery clouds, white-coated pines like a postcard around us. Behind us, twin trails of footsteps, one large, one small. And Ari beside me, pink-cheeked and smiling.
I can almost imagine Gran waiting back at the house with cookies she’d pulled straight from the oven. Because even though she could afford a cook, she insisted on making all her food on her own. “I grew up doing my own cooking,” she’d say, patting her stomach as evidence. “I’m not stopping now.”
She loved Ari—both my grandparents did. They would be so happy to see Ari and me together, holding hands as we walk to the pond I hadn’t cleared off for skating in years.
Until thisyear.
There wasn’t anyone else I wanted to come out here to skate with. But now that Ari is here, and she’s so excited about going skating, getting the pond ready was one of my priorities.
Second to keeping her safe, of course, but there’s nothing to worry about here. My property is completely surrounded by an unscalable perimeter fence with dozens of security cameras. And there’s a thick band of trees just beyond, so we’re guaranteed privacy.
Privacy to recreate one of Ari’s Hallmark fantasies, with some PG-13 activity added in. As we watched the ending of a particularly over-the-top cheesy movie a few nights ago—this one involved not just a candy cane factory, but a Christmas candy-making contest—Ari explained with a grin, “They only ever kiss at the end. And it’s very tame. No hands going in sexy places.”
“I’ll put my hands in some sexy places,” I growled, pulling her onto my lap and kissing her in a very non-tame manner.
We’re nearly at the pond when Ari stops and looks back at the house. After a pause, she turns back to me. “I was just remembering your gran’s cookies. She always made butterscotch chip when I came over.”
“She loved you, you know.”
“I loved her, too.” Her nose wrinkles up and her eyes go damp. “Both your grandparents.”
