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With these types of horrible thoughts taking over, we get to the testing place, a refined laboratory charmingly located on the second floor of a medical clinic.

“Welcome! How can I help you?” The receptionist asks with a smile.

Brody and I look at each other awkwardly. Brody clears his throat then says with confidence, “We’ll need a pregnancy test, please.”

“Okay,” the receptionist begins to type, “We offer two types of pregnancy tests: the urine sample, where you walk out of here with the results immediately, or the blood sample, which takes a day, but gives you more accurate results, including how many weeks you’re expecting. Which one do you prefer?”

We look at each other again.

“Urine,” Brody says.

“Blood,” I say at the same time.

He frowns and splays a handout towards at me, questioning me in silence about what the hell I am doing. And I wince, too scared to say anything.

“Let’s do it like this,” Brody finally says, as patient as he can manage, “you get the urine test. Then we’ll ask the lady here to put the results in a sealed envelope for us, and we go and hand the envelope to Sandra until we’re ready to see it. How does that sound?”

I close my eyes and smile because he made an effort to appease me. “Yes, please,” I say.

“Thank you,” he kisses me lightly on the lips and they hand over the damn test and a cup.

Chapter Twenty-Two

BRODY

Theenvelopehangsinfront of Sandra by two of my fingers, while she stares at it, confused.

“What am I supposed to do with this?” she asks, finally taking a hold of the envelope.

“Hold on to it,” I say, “don’t let anyone see.”

“But you two didn’t even look at it?” She questions me in disbelief.

I shake my head, “No. She has cold feet… And I can’t say she’s alone.”

Sandra and I are at the café in the arena, listening while Lily performs her soundcheck. She’s on her second croissant. I stopped at one, but I’m on my third cup of espresso.

Looking at me and tsking her tongue, Sandra says “It wasn’t like this with Ana, was it?”

“We were already married, Sandra,” I say, “and planning for Eric. This is different.”

“You don’t want her to be pregnant?” Sandra asks, calmer about it than I expected her to be.

“I’m ready for whatever comes,” I bang my fist on the metal table just slightly. “I’m more worried about her. How old is she again?”

“Twenty-three,” she replies quietly.

“Twenty-three…” I place a hand over my forehead, half-regretting things I’ve done.

“She’s a grown adult, Brody. She knew what she was dealing with,” Sandra starts to lose her patience, “I can’t believe you two were foolish enough to have unprotected sex!”

Now I bury my face within my arms, conceding defeat.

“She told me she had an IUD,” I mutter, “I learned later those things can fail.”

I hear my sister’s snickering and raise my eyes to meet hers, “I’m not saying she did it on purpose because I know she didn’t, but Brody… You made a mistake!” she exclaims.

“Okay, what now?” I ask, straightening myself up in the chair.

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