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I’m lying on a hospital bed and Harvey is wearing green scrubs the hospital gave him along with gloves and shoe covers. He now looks as white as a ghost.
“Are you ready?” Harvey asks, coming to touch my hair.
“No,” I laugh weakly. “But we’ll make do as we go.”
He leans down to kiss me. It’s the last time we’ll be kissing until the end of everything, so I take full advantage of it.
The nurses arrive and promptly connect the machines to monitor both my vitals and those of the babies. They inquire about my comfort and quickly exit, making way for the doctor.
He’s not Doctor Glaser and I’m upset about it, so he better be good. He’s a short, bald man who positions himself in between my legs and informs us, “These babies are ready to be born, but there’s not enough space for a natural delivery. A C-section is our safest bet here. Do you agree to it?”
Harvey looks at me for confirmation, and I nod my head.
“Yes, doctor…” Harvey squeezes my hand. “We had one scheduled for next month, but our little ones decided to arrive earlier!”
“Yes, they are in a hurry!” the doctor chuckles. “But they’ll be born strong and healthy, you’ll see!”
As if he were the last of our wedding organizers, the doctor begins to shout out orders, and in an instant, everything is being prepped.
The anesthesiologist comes first, with a big ass needle. Harvey covers my eyes, so I don’t see it being inserted straight into my spine. As it starts to take effect, he tells Harvey, “You have one job here, okay, big fella? Don’t let her fall asleep. She needs to be awake througheverything,alright?”
I know Harvey is even more terrified now, but still offers the man a mock salute to let him know that he understood the task and that I’m in good hands.
Nurses are all around and making me feel terrified too. I focus on Harvey and his blue eyes, wondering if one or both babies will inherit them.
We know one's a boy, but the second's gender remains a mystery because Dr. Glaser couldn’t confirm, and I hope it's a girl.
A curtain divides me from the lower half of my body, and I thank goodness for it because now I can focus only on my husband, myself, and the expectations we have for our children. I look at Harvey again; he looks at me, and no words are needed to express how we are feeling.
The fully prepped doctor arrives, and I close my eyes with anticipation. “No!” Harvey gently taps my face. “No sleeping!”
“I’m awake, dumbass!” I curse him, completely forgetting my promise to watch my language in front of the kids.
I can’t feel anything but just knowing what’s going on behind that curtain is enough to make me want to cry.
But then I truly cry, and even Harvey sobs looking over the curtain to a little desperate screaming claiming ownership over life for the very first time.
“Here’s a boy!” the doctor puts in my arms a little red blob, still covered in goo, who cries at the fullness of his lungs and makes me the happiest person on the planet.
A second set of lungs enters the world, this time, with the quality of a soprano, loud and piercing and forcing my heart to beat a little faster.
“It’s a girl!” the doctor shouts, soon after coming to put in my arms the little princess of my dreams.
She immediately stops crying once she comes to me, and just looks at mommy with curious, newborn blue eyes.
Both babies have dark hair, so they took more from Harvey’s family. Still hard to say who looks like who, but I have a feeling they’ll take it to the Baker clan too.
“Wanna hold them?” I ask Harvey.
A nurse comes to wrap the boy in a blanket and hands him to the father. He hesitates, but knowing he’ll have to do it one way or the other, decides to make it now.
“Oh my God,” he says in a fleeting voice, looking deep into the baby’s eyes. “You are going to be the best hockey player ever!”
“What if he doesn’t want to play hockey, Harvey?” I ask, half-annoyed, half-amused.
The nurse wraps the little girl and helps Harvey carry her too. “We’ll cross that bridge when we get there. Oh my God.I’m a father!”
He shouts, a proud papa bear with his cubs.
And I just smile with tears still flowing out of my eyes, knowing that even though my life didn’t take the direction that I wanted, it took the best direction possible.
