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I head back to face grandma. She’s breathing through a machine and plugged into so many others that I lose count.
She looks so frail it tears my heart to pieces. Not that at her age she looked particularly strong, but she was always so full of life.
I sit by her side and hold onto her tiny, cold hand. Lulled by the beeps and bops of the machines, I fall asleep with my head at grandma’s lap.
When morning comes, Uncle Joe, mom’s older brother, comes to relieve me and I leave.
Everyone is in the waiting room, even Kiera and Michael, who postponed their honeymoon.
Someone I didn’t expect to be there is Elsa.
“Hey, you’re still here,” I say, genuinely glad. I go in for a quick peck on her lips and she’s not fast enough to avoid me.
“We still have business to deal with,” she says, her voice very sweet, but I feel myself crumble even more, but this is just me being sensitive — I don’t need her anymore, and I promised to pay her at the end.
“Alright, let’s go outside,” I say, gesturing for her to follow me.
We’re at the entrance of the emergency area, and there’s little movement there for that hour. Even the two ambulances allotted here are calmly parked, the technicians animatedly talking and having coffee.
I stop, and Elsa stops right in front of me. I take my phone, unlock the screen, and sort through my apps to find what I need.
I find my online money transfer service and ask her if she takes it.
“Yes, I do,” she says in a sheepish voice.
I make the transfer, quick and easy. She even checks her phone notifications when it hits, but she doesn’t seem as ecstatic as I hoped she would be.
“This was one hell of a ride,” she continues, now smiling, all pretty like she is. “I suppose we’re breaking up soon?”
“Yeah…” I let my shoulders slump. “I’ll just… Help take care of grandma and then sometime later I’ll put on the final act of the farce myself. I gave you some more for going the extra mile.”
“I saw it, thanks!” she says, and then looks at me as if longing for something.
We look at each other for a long time, all without it feeling weird or uncomfortable.
I feel a pull towards her, and I give into it, leaning down to kiss her. However, in that same instant, Elsa turns her brown eyes from mine and says softly, “Goodbye, Harvey.”
I just grit my teeth and nod.
This is the last time I’ll see her, and I feel a pang in my chest as I let her go.
Chapter Fifteen
ELSA
Iconsideredtakingaplane to go back home, just becauseI could,but something told me to save that money for a rainy day, so I take the bus.
Since I’m an aspiring actress outside Hollywood or New York, there will be many rainy days in front of me.
The one-night stand with Harvey was… amazing, but I am left feeling confused. It was an emotional weekend and I think that coupled with playing his fake fiancé really messed with my brain. And my hormones.
Shaking my head as if to clear my thoughts, I decide to distract myself by
organizing my debts, paying one by one online, with a focus on taking care of my student loans. This is a huge relief because they’d been snowballing into something much bigger and were getting out my control.
I arrived in Boston three hours later, wondering if I should ask dad for a ride, but ultimately deciding not to. From all the stories I heard from the Bakers, tales about raising independent kids were the ones that hit closest to home for me.
I didn’t even know how to do laundry when I first moved to college.
