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“You’re right…” I sigh. “I’m sorry.”
“You’re not forgiven,” she pouts.
“I know, take your time,” I give her a thumbs up.
I continue, “Just do me a favor and get out of there as soon as possible, okay? If my parents get too attached to you, they might give me even more trouble when I tell them we broke up.”
She looks at me with death in her eyes. Elsa seems to be the type of girl you don’t ever want to wrong, and right now, I don’t seem to be on her good side.
“Okay, Harvey. I’ll go,” she says bitterly. “Please know I didn’t intend to confuse your parents further. I came to see you but missed you and ran into them instead. They insisted I stay and spend time with them. Anyway, I truly do care about them. I will do as you ask. I don’t want to hurt them.”
Elsa hangs up the phone and I’m left with a pang in my heart and a weird feeling at the bottom of my stomach.
Is it nausea? Stomachache? I don’t know, but I’m smart enough to know that hurting Elsa took a grave part in it.
Chapter Nineteen
ELSA
I’mbackinBostonlater that same day, arriving late afternoon to a pair of parents who still don’t know why their daughter had left in such a hurry this morning.
“Was it something with your boyfriend, dear?” Mom asks, climbing down the basement stairs with a concerned look on her face.
“He’s not my boyfriend, mom…” I say, grabbing t-shirt and sweatpants to change into. “He’s Parker’s friend, and I pretended to be his fiancé as a favor.”
She reaches the bottom of the stairs, and leans against the banister, crossing her arms and looking judgmental as hell.
“I don’t understand that story, Elsa. It’s too complicated!” she says.
“You say as if I don’t have the mental capacity to play a role in it!” I try to joke but it falls flat. “And I went to college for it!”
“Oh, Elsa, it’s not that!” She comes to sit on my bed, straightening the comforter with one hand while picking up my loose hairs out of it with the other. “It’s all too convoluted for my tastes! Why does a handsome man like him need a pretend girlfriend?”
“I don’t know, mom!” I stomp my feet on the ground, feeling a desperate need to flee this conversation. “He just wanted one!”
She puts a hand under her chin and looks at me all pensive. “And why did you agree to it?”
I gasp for air with that question. ‘Because he paid me’ doesn’t seem like a suitable answer, so I’ll appeal to her by playing with her heartstrings.
“Because he’s Parker’s friend. And I didn’t want to disappoint him,” I say, putting on a pity-worthy face.
Celebrating her kids getting along, mom claps once and joins her hands in front of her chest with a huge smile on her face.
“Oh, Elsa! I had no idea you cared for Parker this much to do a favor like that for him!” she says, bursting with happiness.
“Well, of course I do!” I say. I do, but the truth is the weight of a hundred grand talked louder than my love for my brother.
“I raised you well!” She stands and comes to give me a hug. “So, have you thought about what’s next? Are you going to start looking for a job soon?”
I sigh. The best I can aim for a job around here is giving theater classes for kids — not that it’s not a noble occupation, but it’s not what I want. I still want to follow my acting dream but am feeling stuck.
“I’m still trying to figure out what I want to do, mom…” I say in a tired tone.
She holds me, tight, ignoring the clothes I’m holding in my hands. “Well, don’t wait for too long, darling. Life doesn’t stop to wait for you.”
She goes back upstairs and promises to call me for dinner. And that’s the way it goes for days on end: me feeling aimless and hiding downstairs, and mom calling me back into the world of the living at least three times a day.
I try to look into audition listings here in Boston just out of curiosity, but as I peruse them, I feel my palms get clammy and my rapid heartbeats echoing in my ears like a distant drumbeat.
