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I giggle and don’t argue, perfectly content in his strong arms.
After the shower, we’re both wrapped in our towels, and I start to feel a little self-conscious and confused.
When I reach down to grab my clothes, Harvey knocks my clothes out of my reach.
“What are you doing?” I look at him, covering myself with the towel as if he just hadn’t seen me naked.
Now that my passion has chilled, I don’t know if I should be here. I’m not sure what we are doing or what this means for us.
He shrugs and says, “There’s no one around for at least half a mile. No need for clothes. Come relax with me in the hot tub.”
I hesitate and he says, “Look, I know we have things to talk about. We can do it out there.”
I nod, still covering myself with the towel and follow him outside. His backyard is huge, with grassy patches and stone-lined paths leading to a wooden deck by the pool, and a jacuzzi with full-on bubbles next to it.
The sun is just starting to set. He flips a switch and lights turn on leading to the jacuzzi and hang from above it.
“How many girls have you impressed with that jacuzzi?” I cross my arms and stop, looking at him half indignant and half amused.
And he laughs, a throaty laughter that makes me want to punch him.
“None of them matter now,” he extends his hand to me. “Because I have you.”
I stare at him as if he’s full of it but do take his hand and abandon the towel, following him into the hot tub.
He places me on his lap, and I smile at him, but then pull away, sitting to face him, the bubbles covering us.
He continues, his voice husky, “It’s true. haven’t thought about anyone else or wanted anyone else since you.”
I look over at him and his eyes look open and honest.
I sigh and ask him, “What is happening between us?”
He looks at me earnestly and says, “I know that we started out as a fake couple, but I want to try for real with you. I can’t get you out of my head, but it’s also deeper than just physically wanting you. I care about you and want to get to know you better. Plus, my family loves you and—”
I close my eyes and sigh, “That’s just it, Harvey. I feel so guilty about lying to your family like that. How can we build a relationship based off a lie?”
“So, you’re saying you won’t even invest in me because I made it weird with my family?” He frowns.
I take a deep breath, trying to get my thoughts and feelings under control. The truth is that I do like him. A lot. I want to be with him, but it feels almost impossible under these circumstances.
I continue, “I don’t want to start dating you for real while pretending that we were always together. It leaves a bad feeling in my stomach, and I don’t know how we could have a good relationship that way. I don’t want to lie to your family anymore. Look, I care about you too, but I need to give this some thought, okay?”
His eyes grow heavy, and he just nods.
I try to joke, “Oh c’mon. Don’t whine because you aren’t getting your way.”
He rolls his eyes but then says, “Well I’m here if you want to talk, okay?”
I nod, grab my towel, and quickly cover myself with it as I head out of the hot tub.
“Thank you again for the therapist recommendations. I’m motivated now to get help with my panic attacks. You’ve helped me to get out of the funk I’ve been in and to see a way to start pursuing my acting dream again.”
He nods with a smile and then I say softly, “I should probably get going.”
I can tell he wants to argue, but he finally just nods.
With a sigh, he gets out of the hot tub too and says, “Let’s dry off and change. I’ll take you home.”
