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“Oh,” I widen my eyes to her. “That’s a bummer. I was looking forward to getting to know him better, but maybe it’s good that it’s just us. I know we still have unfinished business to talk about. Let me help you up in a second.”
I turn my back to her and finish the knots. I help her up and follow her through, sitting at the bow of the boat, while she takes a seat just ahead of me. I then look at her and feel the ocean breeze on my skin. It’s sunny, but the wind is cold which makes an interesting contrast and stimulates my brain.
I look at her playfully. “Just for a second. Just think about what we could have been if none of this fake fiancé situation had happened. If Parker wasn’t such a tool and had introduced me to this wonderful sister that he has much earlier.”
I can tell that she’s trying to picture it, because her eyes are closed, and she has the sweetest smile on her lips.
“Maybe we could have gone to your sister’s wedding not as an engaged couple, but as boyfriend and girlfriend,” she says, in a day dreamy voice.
“I say we could be engaged for real.” I release the ropes of the boat, and it starts moving without Elsa noticing.
“No, you travel too much, and I would have been too busy with college then chasing my acting dream. There wouldn’t be enough time,” she says, and then opens her eyes. “Wait! Where are you taking me?”
“To international waters! Where nothing is a crime!”
The face she makes is priceless, and my laughter corresponds to it to the same degree. I sit by her side, but with my legs to the opposite side, just so I can maneuver the sails a little bit better.
“We have everything to make this work, Elsa…” I continue as we leave the marina and enter open waters.
I hear her sigh, and with her sigh, I see a strenuous pang growing in both of our chests, as a sign that things could in fact, have worked if I wasn’t so stupid.
I feel the winds and correct the sails for us to go around the bay. Elsa continues “It’s not that simple, Harvey. It’s a matter of trust.”
Nodding, I sigh along with her and feel a dark, somber spot hiding at the edge of my soul. “I understand. But don’t underestimate my family, they would understand.”
“Understand?” she asks in pure disbelief. “How so? We say that we were already dating, but the engagement thing was just for grandma? They will hate me for that!”
The way she puts it, I feel ridiculous. That was exactly my idea and she reduced it to ashes.
“Well…” I try to come up with another solution.
“That would still be lying, Harvey!” Elsa cries.
The sails are set on course, just a quick trip and I’ll bring her back to land. Taking advantage of it, I reach for her hand and lean back to look Elsa in the eyes.
I really want to show her she can trust me.
“I’ll tell them the truth, then.”
She seems surprised, and that’s a positive in my book.
“Everything. From way before you got involved, up till the day you showed up on their doorstep.”
Elsa doesn’t squeeze my hand back, doesn’t draw the minor emotion in her face, nothing. She just looks ahead, with a thousand-yard stare and a visible longing for answers I cannot give her.
“I’m not sure I can face that…” she says, feeling her shoulder.
“Then think about it,” I touch her hair and she doesn’t stop me.
The day is stunning, a beautiful sunny day with sparse white clouds decorating the sky. But none of us can appreciate it. Instead, she just crosses her arms, looking like she’s cold, and I am too busy with my thoughts and almost don’t acknowledge it.
“Here, please,” I say, taking off my flannel shirt and placing it over her shoulders.
I smile seeing her cozying up to it. She is still lost in thought.
Then she turns to me and with a small voice says, “What if they hate me when you tell them?”
I pull her in and hold her tight, her back against my chest. “Elsa, they could never hate you. If you want to tell them the truth, let’s tell the truth. We can talk about it and figure out when would be the best time to do so. What do you say? Will you be my girlfriend?”
