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He separates from a pile a white envelope with my name. Before handing it to me, he smiles, a bit sly.
“Congratulations, mommy,” he says, leaving me dumbfounded.
“What…?” I barely can get anything out as my jaw drops. “That’s not possible. I’m on the pill!”
“I know it can come as a shock, but it is still possible to get pregnant on the pill. And you are on the mini pill, which means you have to be extra careful. Do you take it perfectly at the same time every day?” the doctor says.
“I…” I pause to think for a good while. “I take it first thing in the morning so yeah, usually.”
“Well, my guess is that maybe you accidentally missed one or were too late in taking one. Even if you are a few hours late, you can get pregnant,” he says, somber. “But even if taken perfectly, there is still a chance.”
“I was on the regular birth control pill, but it gave me horrible headaches, so my doctor suggested this one,” I say softly, feeling in shock.
After a few moments, I realize the doctor is staring at me expectantly, and I whisper, “Is there anything else, doctor?”
“I’ve written you a prescription for some nausea medicine. Just make sure to schedule a follow-up with your regular doctor when you return home,” he says, waving me goodbye.
I leave his office and find Harvey patiently standing in the waiting room. I don’t know what I am going to tell him yet, I just keep on approaching him, until finally…
“What did they say?” he asks, interested and concerned.
But then I put my hands against his chest and push him again and again. It’s not hard but I feel a sense of release as I do it.
I’m scared and needing someone to blame.
Finally, he holds my hands together and repeats, “What did they say?”
I bite down on my lip, tears beginning to choke me.
“This is all your fault!” I shout to him.
The receptionist looks at me, unsure if she should intervene or not. Harvey looks at me confused, and demands to know, “What did I do?”
Now I’m in full-blown tears, and I know he is in distress, still unable to understand what’s going on. I need to clear things up, even if it’s just to curse him a little better.
“I’m pregnant, Harvey!” I shove the envelope with the test results in his face. “Look at what you did!”
His eyes wide, he just drops the papers, and they float to the floor. He just stares at them but makes no move to pick them up.
Suddenly he utters defensively, “Hey, I didn’t do this on my own!”
I collapse in tears by his side. Harvey attempts to hold me, but I dodge his advance, so he just keeps his hands to himself. Picking up the scattered papers from the floor, he says, trying to act calm, “This is a good thing, Elsa.”
“No, it’s not!” I keep on sobbing like a child. “I was just discovering my life, and—”
“You can keep on discovering your life!” Harvey kneels in front of me and looks me in the eye. “I will take care of you, Elsa. Of you and the baby!”
I sniffle, feeling slightly better. “Harvey… I’m still not sure what I want for my life, and I was hoping to figure it out this year… With you… I was going to figure out how to have an acting career and be with you. But a child changes everything.”
Still kneeling in front of me, I see him wilt, chewing on the insides of his cheeks, and looking all over the room for the right words to say.
“This is the first time this has happened to you, right?” I nod positively. “Well, this is the first time for me too. I might not have a lot of experience, but I have great examples in my family. I can be a good father, Elsa! Please let me take care of you and the baby!”
I scoff, feeling bitter. “So what? Are we going to get married and live happily ever after?”
“Not necessarily,” he shrugs. “We will keep on dating, and if we want to get married, we will. We’ll figure this out together.”
He squeezes my hand and I look down at our hands, still refusing to believe that he is being this flexible for the sake of loving me, the sake of becoming a father, or both.
