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I fell to my knees, one hand clutched to my chest. It ached, and for a moment I wondered if I’d somehow bonded her after all, only to have the bond ripped away with her disappearance.
I hadn’t wanted our time to end. It made no sense to be so affected by someone I’d just met, but I’d hoped to convince her to come with me.
To be my mate.
There were females I’d known my whole life that wouldn’t matter to me if I never saw again, but the thought of leaving Ivy behind made my vision turn red. I’d tried to do what the humans did and give her a choice, but she hadn’t chosen me.
The gods were cruel. Had they fated me to find and fall for her, only to lose her because I chose to do things the way her kind did?
I would be doomed to a lifetime of misery if it was true.
“Why?”
Head thrown back, my howl mingled with the roar of the storm that had woken me, the sound lost in the wind and rain. Soaked to the bone, I growled my rage, fists pounding the earth.
When my fury ran out, I bowed my head, the rain running down my face to drip from my snout and my horns. I kept my mind blank as I focused on the last traces of her scent before they were washed away, and I continued to kneel there until the storm passed, its ferocity lasting longer than my anger had.
I’d thought I’d have time to talk to her. Time to explain that I wanted her as my mate and convince her to stay.
Now she was gone, and I had to choose between her ways, or mine.
Did I respect her choice and leave…
Or did I hunt her down and claim my omega?
Chapter Nineteen
Ivy
Ihad no idea how long I cried in front of the fireplace, the tears slowly trickling away as the storm outside blew itself out. Eventually I fell asleep, only to be awakened by the ache of cold, stiff limbs after the fire had burned out.
I still didn’t want to move.
The pounding in my head and ache in my belly grew until I couldn’t lie still any longer. Wrapping myself in the blanket that now carried a faint hint of De’drik’s fresh rain and violet scent, I built a new fire and made a cup of tea to soothe the pain, staring into the flames in a daze. I dozed off, not waking again until sunlight streaming through the window shone into my eyes.
I went through the motions of starting my day without thought. Unable to stand the sight of anything that reminded me of my folly, I stripped out of the dress I’d worn, tossing it in the washtub. I cleaned away the remnants of our tryst, pretending I didn’t immediately miss the smell of him on my skin, and I almost dunked my blanket in the soapy water, only to stop at the last second and run it up to my room, stuffing it under my bed where I could try to pretend I wasn’t saving it.
Only the pain in my foot remained to remind me of what had happened, and I relished every painful step as rightfully deserved.
Performing my chores, I kept myself busy, clutching the shroud of numb shock I’d woken in around me to keep the heartache at bay. I was even grateful when I heard the clatter of the carriage before lunch.
The squabbling was loud enough to carry through the heavy wooden doors, and I couldn’t help the grim satisfaction that coursed through me at the thought that I wasn’t the only one who may have ruined their chance at a bright future. From what I picked up of Margaret’s complaints, they hadn’t been welcome to stay in Perlynn, and she was blaming everyone but herself.
Smoothing my expression, I pulled open the doors just as Margaret lifted a hand to bang on them.
“It’s bad enough to be snubbed by the future governor, now I have to knock to enter my own home?”
Her screech grated along my nerves as she stormed past.
“Why would any invite you to stay when you did everything but bare your bosom to get the governor’s attention, then continued to flounce yourself around between the other bachelors once you’d been run away from him?”
William’s comment almost succeeded in pulling an unladylike snort from me as Margaret squealed in anger. I could envision Margaret doing exactly what he’d said and alienating every other person at the ceremony in the process.
But a peek up at my aunt’s face as she swept through the doors sent a wave of ice along my veins that froze any satisfaction I may have felt at my cousins’ lack of composure.
“Enough! I have had enough of the both of you. It will take me moons, noseasons, to fix this disgrace.”
Aunt Mary never showed her emotions or lost her poise, so for her to raise her voice to yell over Margaret’s squalling meant she was beyond angry. My heart stuttered in my chest as I ducked my head and moved farther into the corner so I wouldn’t be noticed, but my luck seemed to have disappeared.
