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I bite my lip, then let out a shaky breath before pulling my head back up, and I look at her confidently in the eyes.
“I know. And I’m good. I promise. Just keep this between us. I adore Tara, but she’s not the best with keeping secrets. Ainsley needs to find out gently.”
“Of course.” She lets go of my hands and crosses her arms.
“As for your original question, just give it time. Besides, it must be fun trying.” I wink at her and watch as she gives a sway to her body.
“Oh, yeah. Making babies with Will is a lot of fun. Raising them … not so much.”
We laugh, and I think about that night in a canopy bed.
Yeah, making a baby wasn’t so bad.
In fact, it was really, really good.
ten
“GO FISH!” AINSLEY SHOUTSafter Luke asks her if she has the seahorse card for the third turn in a row.
With a puffed-out lip, he draws yet another card from the deck, theatrically placing the new card into the growing stack in his hands.
She rises to her knees with eager anticipation and looks at the one card left in her chubby palm. “Do you have a crab?”
Putting on a complete show for Ainsley’s benefit, Luke whimpers as he slowly pulls the crab card out of the pile and hesitantly hands it over. She grabs the card lightning quick and holds it in the air along with the matching crab card as she does a victory dance.
“I won! I won!” Her feet kick up. The checkered blanket Luke and I are lying on bunches up. “I won again!”
While she sings, he looks up at her with a beaming smile. His cards are flung onto the blanket, and I take a look at them with a shake of my head. His eyes twinkle as they turn from Ainsley to me. I sit up and tilt my head at him while narrowing my eyes.
Luke’s eyes have a mischievous crinkle to them as he sits up as well and opens the cooler. He takes out a chocolate almond milk, opens the top, and hands it to Ainsley.
“That’s her second one today,” I assess.
“She’s fine. The calcium is healthy for her bones.”
I scrunch my nose and watch as she gulps down half the bottle, leaving a chocolaty mustache on her face. Luke asks her to come to him, then uses his thumb to wipe the milk residue from her upper lip.
My chest quakes. I grab my cardigan and slide it over my shoulders to fight the cool breeze that’s obviously in the air.
“Can I go play on the seesaw?” she asks me.
I look over at the playground and the amount of children playing. There are a few, but not too many. “Yes. Stay close. Remember, if you can’t see me, I can’t see you.”
“I’ll come,” Luke offers, but she places a hand on her hip and shakes her head.
“You’re too big. Last time, I was stuck in the air forever, remember?”
“I figured it out for us, didn’t I? Did about a hundred squats, making sure I could manually lift my side up and down for you.”
Her hands rest at her sides as she looks down at him. “Then, you made a big deal for the next hour about how much your legs hurt. I’m gonna go play with the kids. Bye!”
Ainsley takes off toward the seesaw and the crowd of young children appropriately sized to share a ride with.
Luke leans back on his arms, his long legs stretched out, and stares at her skipping along the grass. His eyes brim with tenderness when he watches her. I wonder if that magic will ever dissipate from his face. When the burden of being a parent will overpower the wistful way you see your young.
“She’s amazing,” he croons as his lips part in a dazzling display of straight white teeth.
“You could let her lose a game every once in a while. She’s amazing when she’s drunk on chocolate milk and winning at Go Fish. Try getting her to sit still when you have to brush the knots out of her hair.”
