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“His text messages. His friends think you’re some super-hot nanny who’s crazy as shit, and they’re not wrong.” He walks to the side of the island and puts his hands up in prayer as he dramatically moves toward me with a red face, iced jaw, and a tone that elevates with every word. “Now, please, stop fucking lying to me, act like an adult for once, and tell me what the hell is going on.”
“Fine, Rob! Just stop it,” I shout, my words echoing through the house. “Stop it with the rage. Stop it with the accusations.”
I push back off the cold granite and place my hands on my hips. “Your son called me because he’d found himself in a bad situation and needed a friend. Someone who wasn’t going to read him the riot act. You can be angry as hell at him for being in that horrible place, but you should be proud that he was brave enough to remove himself and ask for help. I picked him up, and I took him back to my place because I knew he’d be safe. He didn’t need someone to scold him for just trying to grow up.”
“Damn it, Tara. This is serious. You can’t take a sixteen-year-old boy home with you.”
“Be careful with what you say next because you’re sounding very accusatory.”
“He’s a child, and you have to bring him home. You can’t play the role of cool aunt with every kid you meet.”
“Where was I going to bring him? To his mother, who clearly didn’t care enough to make sure that her son didn’t turn off his cell phone tracking so she knew where he was or the fact that he was sleeping out when he was already grounded for the summer. She had him for one weekend and couldn’t be bothered to parent him. I sure as shit wasn’t bringing him back here,” I declare. “You see this.” I motion a large circle around the space between Rob and me that’s bubbling with a toxic, angry energy. “The way you’re behaving would have been ten times worse.”
“He’s my son. Not yours. Mine. If anyone should be getting him out of a shithole and taking him home, it’s me!”
His words are like a blast to my chest. Their power leaving a wound in my skin.
“You’re not mad because I helped. You’re pissed because he didn’t call you. You’re so damn controlling and lost in your own pissed off universe that you don’t even see what’s happening around you.”
“Don’t act like I don’t know my own son. I know who he hangs out with. I know they’re trouble, and I have asked him time and time again why he runs with those dirtbags. That’s why I’ve been keeping him with me.”
“Maybe instead of asking him why he hangs out with them, you should ask yourself why an awesome kid who was so close to you suddenly spends his days with the dredge of the earth. He’s hurting, Rob. He’s heard too much. Knows too much. Yet he’s a good kid. And smart. You spend more days screaming at him for his faults than looking at him through the lens of a father and being proud of the small successes.”
“You come in for one month and think you magically know what it’s like to raise children. You don’t even want kids. You have no idea what it’s like and no idea what we’ve been through.”
“You’re right. I don’t. It still gives you zero license to scream at me like I’m a child!”
“Only a child would hide this from another adult. It’s all lies with you. First, it was why you wanted to come here. Now, it’s my son. I bet there are more, like where the hell you and Molly were when I came home and why you’re always out in the fields all day, and why you texted my son to bring you a rope. Nothing’s serious with you. Not even us. I bet this whole month was just a fun fling and I was the available man.”
A quiver runs off my lips as the accusation of his words rolls through my heart and pierces it into a thousand pieces.
“Of course,” I state calmly. The emotions build behind my eyes, forcing me to realize Rob is just like every other man who sees me through a singular lens.
I lift my chin and swallow it back. “This is what it comes back to. You’re always telling me to grow up. Well, maybe you’re the one who has to. I’ve never had to prove myself to someone in more ways than I have with you. Even when I finally had you, I had to dance around your insecurities. You practically ran away from me because I’d made you waffles. They were fucking waffles, Rob. But they scared you because you were so afraid I’d want more than what you could give me. Then, with Cade, I needed to show I wasn’t going to jump into bed with him by jumping into bed with you.”
“That’s why you did it?”
“No!” I yelp and then back away, my hands in my hair. “I did it because I like you, Rob. I more than like you. I like so many things about you, which is baffling because you’re also the most closed-minded man I’ve ever met. I like your smile and the way you don’t show it often, so when you do, it’s like my entire day is made. I like your vulnerability and the stories you tell about your kids. I like your art and the talent in your callous hands. I like that you took on this house and this land and are slowly making it a paradise for your children. I like our talks and the way you hum when you’re just sitting in silence. I like the way you sing when you’re outside by the barbecue and don’t think anyone can hear you. I liked that you trusted me with your children because you knew I cared about them as if they were my own. At least, that’s what I thought because I was blinded.”
I brush past him and walk to my room. I take my suitcase out from under my bed and open it up.
Rob’s heavy steps follow me. He stands in the doorway, filling it, as he looks down at me while I frantically place clothing items inside. “What are you doing?”
Sundresses fly off the hangers as I toss them into my bag. “While I like you, I also hate you, Rob. I hate you because I ignored the fact that you treat me like everyone else. Like I’m a loose cannon who can’t be trusted. Like I’d buy a kid a beer at a bar because I look like I’d be cool with it. Like I’m an easy woman who will fall for anyone. Trust me, if I wanted any Todd, Dick, or Kyle, I know exactly where to find one. I wouldn’t be attaching myself to the one man who doesn’t want me. Point taken. I get it. You don’t want me.”
His brows drop as he swallows. “If you don’t want people to treat you that way, you can’t pull stupid shit like picking a kid up in the middle of the night and not telling his parents. Or finding out he lied to you about class and keeping his secret so he doesn’t get in trouble.”
I close my suitcase and rest my hand on it as I gaze up at him. My breath is ragged, yet I take a deep breath to center myself as I look at him. So beautiful yet so distrusting and oh-so disappointed.
“I wanted to be a safe space for Jesse. He trusted me enough to call me. I don’t know if it will happen again, and if he ever finds himself in a horrible situation, whether it’s next week or next year, I want him to know he has someone he can call who cares about him enough to make sure he’s okay. I didn’t keep his secrets to hurt you. I did it to protect your relationship with your son. While he has messed up, he’s also paid his dues, and he’s amazing. The two of you even grew closer, and with every day that passed, I felt better about my decisions. I know they were wrong, but I don’t regret them.” I pick up my suitcase. “I do, however, regret getting close to you when I know you have nothing to give me in return. I knew you were gonna be a hard man to get attached to, but now that I have and after hearing what you truly think of me, I wish I never had.”
I start to walk to my desk, but he grabs my hand and forces me to look at him.
“I told you I couldn’t give you what you wanted.”
“I thought you meant happily ever after. I knew you weren’t good for that. I at least thought, somewhere along the way, I’d earned your respect.”
I pull my wrist from him and watch his face fall, along with his hand by his side.
