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“Wouldn’t it have been worse once time had passed?” I suggest.
Jillian shrugs her shoulder and nods her head. “At the very least, you have to admit that he was right to be upset. Whether your intentions were malicious or pure, Jesse is his son. It shows he cares about his children.”
My stomach hurts with the notion that Jillian is absolutely correct. “I know he had every right to be upset. I even knew that when he was yelling.”
“And you still left,” Melissa states. “You walked away because you were scared. His anger didn’t scare you. I’ve seen you stand up to the best of ’em. You were scared because you’d disappointed him and he didn’t give you the benefit of the doubt. You walked away because you thought he was gonna end the relationship first.”
With my hand on my lips, I look up at the early evening sky.
The moon is there.
It’s funny how people only pay homage to the moon in the dark of night when it’s bright, but it’s there, even in the daytime. It might not be vibrant and shiny, but it’s always lingering, ready for someone to notice it.
“Tara”—Jillian leans forward and places her hand on my knee—“are you okay?”
Shaking my head, I digress. “I’m gonna miss that house. It’s pretty, and I can already sense it’s gonna be drafty in the winter, but it has this comforting charm about it. It’s quiet at night, but there’s always a creak of the floorboards, like the house is humming. And the property is gorgeous. I’ve been on more walks in a few weeks than I have in my entire life. I can stare at the mountains all day and pick wildflowers by the bunches for the dinner table.”
She leans back and scrunches her brows. “I can see how that house is something you’ll miss.” She gives Melissa an incredulous look, who just shrugs her shoulders.
I continue, “I should have hugged Molly longer. She was so upset when I was leaving. I’m gonna miss her. That girl has life figured out. She knows the balance between being her own woman and being cool around her friends. She’s also a quick learner on how not to be taken advantage of. Jesse, on the other hand, is going through a little of what Izzy went through when you got divorced. He’s trying to find his place in this world, and I think he’s getting it.”
“You were getting close to the kids, huh?” Jillian adds.
“I was,” I state with a smile. “I’ll miss them.”
Melissa bites the inside of her cheek as she asks, “What about Rob?”
I’ll miss him most because I was starting to fall in love with him.
“Like you said, I over-fantasized about him, and he didn’t live up to my expectations.”
Melissa gives a sad grin back. “Tara, that’s not what I meant. I think if you just call him—”
I push my shoulders back and give a little shimmy. “It’s okay, Melissa. It was good while it lasted, and now, it’s over. I’ll be fine. I always am. No one can look this hot and be as much of a badass and fall apart every time a man walks away.”
She levels her eyes with me. “All true, except for one part. He didn’t leave.”
I give her the middle finger. Because that’s how you respond when your friend levels you with the truth.
Then, I declare, “I have to pee.”
The two wave me off, and I have no doubt they’ll talk about me when I’m gone. I know my antics have given them plenty to vicariously live through, especially since they’re in committed relationships, mothers, and—mostly—sane individuals.
For the most part, my life has been rather exciting with my tales of dating woes. I think I’m starting to realize that I’m tired of exciting.
I’m ready for boring.
As I walk through the dining room, a couple catches my eye. I’ve met them before under the haze of carnival lights and freshly made cotton candy. Christine and Mike are at a table near a window, holding hands and cheersing with their wineglasses.
I can’t help but move toward their table. Yes, I still have to use the restroom, and yet the sight of these two out in the wild, like rare animals, is a something I just want to see more of.
Why? Like I’ve established, I don’t always make the best decisions.
As I step up to the edge of their table, I’m already regretting my decision.
“Hello there,” Mike says as I approach, wide eyes and surprised by my sudden appearance.
Christine is looking at me, befuddled. She clearly doesn’t remember me.
