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He kept me riding that line of mindful ecstasy past the point of cruelty.
I couldn’t speak. There were tears of frustration, but mostly I was a radiant animal crying out her pleasure to any who might hear.
Never having been a particularly vocal person, I didn’t know that voice. Was totally unaware I could make such trills and moans. And I would have been mortified had I any self-control.
When it finally began to abate and even his touches could not encourage my core to contract anymore, I sagged, completely in his power. Face to his hard chest, little zips of sensation working their way inside me, I sobbed at the unfairness of it all.
How could he do these things to me? Why did my body respond when my mind despised him with such violent fervor?
I had been submitted against my will. Defeated by a stronger predator on every level. Unable to bear another moment, I capitulated in a bid for mercy.
Pleading was all I might have left. Voice half a sob, half rattled by uncomfortable breath, I implored, “I am begging you not to do that again.”
It was gentle how he held me, considering the trauma he’d just inflicted. Even his pleasure-laced voice was soft as he said, “I know you are frightened, but you have my word, my cock inside you is not causing harm. Relax, submit, and understand that my knot will not recede for some time.I will take care of you.”
There was an entire limb of an unwelcome man inside me, the balloon that locked it in,his knot, obliging me to bear it when I wanted it out. How was a person supposed to relax under those circumstances?
My need for details, for some slice of knowledge only he seemed to possess, drove me to pant out a question. “What is it doing to me?”
Hand to my hair, he massaged my scalp. “Your reproductive tract is a labyrinth of repository glands. Each must be coerced into expanding until full. The male knot assures the female cannot seek another mate until the victor is done seeding and sealing each pocket. Once you have received all you need, your body will signal to me that this first mating is complete. Only then will my knot recede. As of now, your body wants more.”
Collapsed against him, I whispered, “More what?”
A kiss to the top of my head. “Sperm. The fluid your contractions are enticing out of me. My genetic material will fertilize every egg you were born with. Our future children are being created in this moment. Right here”—a gentle palm landed on my round stomach—“where you will keep our embryos safe until the time is right to implant and grow them.”
My children were being created on the floor of an office… after violence and pain.
It was unthinkable.
“You held me down and forced yourself inside me.” Saying it out loud left me shivering and cold. “You didn’t have my permission.”
With gentle strokes up and down my spine, an unapologetic man held me close. “I know.”
He rubbed my back and rocked me on his knot when I began to sob.
How could this possibly be pleasing to him? “I’ve always hated you.”
Fingertips began to massage my nape, working out the ache at the base of my skull. “Hate me all you will. Yet recognize that I have heard your song since you were twelve. It wasdifficultto maintain composure when you were right there, beautiful and perfect and vulnerable. For ten long years, I resisted every animal instinct to claim you, even though there was absolutely no one who could prevent me. But you were so young—not yet old enough to handle me physically without serious damage. Nor were you mature enough to understand what was taking place between us. You needed time. I suffered the wait, and would have tested my willpower another year or two if you had not forced my hand by seeking your ruin”—his voice grew dark—“with a stranger in the streets.”
I was in no mental state to process any of that. Since I was twelve, he had been planningthis…
That would mean that despite all my best efforts, I’d never had a future. Not one year of my hard work would have altered anything. The fog would never have been an option. He would never have allowed me to leave the academy.The listhe repeatedly suggested I consider was never a true option. Only a means to gauge when he might pin me down on his office floor.
I swear I felt him spurtagainthat very moment. As if to punctuate the rape.
And I knew that word, becausehehad taught it to me. Once in explanation, and once in action.
Yet, to him, such a monstrous thing seemed only a minor inconvenience.
He had not struggled at all, whereas I had been overpowered and confused with little effort. There had even been moments in the mating that I had actively participated in my own destruction.
Mind reeling, I began to hyperventilate.
The man had heard my song for ten years and kept it secret. A man who had wanted me on a very visceral level since I was a child.
Who had planned and kept me hidden away.
He’d made my life, and the lives of all those around me, hell.
