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There was something so strange about the concept of open windows, in allowing atmosphere to enter a room without filters to suck out the fog.
So high above the city, there was no fog.
Clean air, cold enough to leave my scales prickling, blew over me… the discomfort of my heat gone, leaving me vulnerable to a chill.
No more aching burn, no more fever. Had it not been for the radiant warmth of the male with his chest pressed to my back and his legs tangled with mine, I may have even required a blanket.
Head pillowed on his bicep, I listened to the sound of his soft sleeping breaths, feeling the rhythmic rise and fall of his chest. Where my abdomen poked out, his palm rested, a possessive embrace.
My swollen belly had shrunk but not completely diminished. It poked out, a very strange physical phenomenon I had no idea my body was capable of. I possessed an entire organ system nature designed to assure I wouldneedthe first male to ejaculate inside me as long as I might live, and there it was right under my skin all along.
A life mate who slept at my back.
Cyderial claimed that my body would absorb what it needed from that swollen pocket within. He even left me plugged to ensure no drop would be wasted.
But heat would return.
And I would have to be fucked again.
Twice it had happened now.
Once, fucked senselessly drunk on male tricks on his office floor.
Then, fucked with my mind clear and addiction riding me, in the very bed we would share from now on.
Both times had been so different, and both times, the general knew exactly how to play my body against my mind. The things he could do with his fingers. The taste of his lips, how they might pull at my nipples. Thatbeastbetween his legs.
He could give me a kind of pleasure that was impossible to discount, the male shameless in wielding his power over me, utterly unapologetic. Cyderial could make my body sing, inspire reactions I would never know how to describe to another female. That journal—not a single one of the diagrams within it came close.
Sexual congress between hybrid mates was existential. Cyderial was more than eager to show me all the secrets he had memorized over the years. It was hard to grasp these were his first sexual experiences too. But he was so experienced in the theory and practice, where I knew nothing—nothing about my body, about his, about wriggling cocks, ballooning stomachs, waxy plugs, nor orgasms.
A female’s duty was to submit to these things.
A male’s duty was to pleasure her in every way.
It had only been one night wrapped up in his passion, but I could see how it could go horribly wrong. Miranda had been forced for ten years to endure a lustful mate who refused her freedoms so he might enjoy her cunt.
The idea of being locked in a room and subjected to that kind of pleasure over and over would literally drive any female insane. I had already been tamed to such a point that I was allowing him to hold me.
The same man who had forced me to sleep just the day before.
Who had taken me without permission at the academy.
Who I had given permission to knot me in that very bed, because I saw no other possible outcome, knowing Mirada’s sad history and Cyderial’s obsessive insanity.
I had to beconfidentto be allowed outside on his terms.
Why waste time arguing with reality? That is what the wise would ask.
Accept every bit of disgust, swallow down your disappointments, and move forward. Cyderial had won. I had been defeated at a game I had unknowingly been playing with him since I was a child.
He outmaneuvered me even now, the man educated in what I could only imagine were advanced sexual techniques, confident in how and when to apply them. He had bred me and made our children when I still could hardly wrap my mind around the concept that potentially dozens of hybrid babies were waiting in some sort of suspended state… I was not even sure where in my body.
I didn’t have to like him, but I had to be knotted by him.
I didn’t have to desire the man, but heat would force me to feel intense pleasure under his body for the rest of my life.
I may carry our children, but I did have the power to refuse to birth them. Unless… that was also a lie.
