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We lounge on my leather couch, and I prop my feet up on the coffee table, sipping my hot tea.
“I can’t. I have to be up early for my job interview tomorrow morning.”
My eyes study Poppy’s face like a map. She’s naturally pretty without needing any makeup and she has the perfect body, not too big, not too thin. Sharp cheekbones. Full lips. I envy her beauty and her confidence in herself. It reminds me of a time when I was confident.
Her eyes widen as she tucks a chestnut curl behind her ear, casting me a curious glance. “Where?”
I sip my drink before answering.“Risqué.”
Risqué is the last place I want to work at, and they change CEOs like the weather. It’s a lingerie company that’s going out of business, but I need it to get my foot in the door, so I can work on the creative team. My father wants me to use his connections since he’s famous in the fashion industry, but I don’t want to—it’s not a good look. I want people to give me a chance because of my creative skills, and I want to earn my way to the top, so people respect me.
She claps her hands together, fist-pumping. “Oh my gosh! I’m so happy for you. We def need to celebrate.”
I don’t want to get my hopes up too high, so I bite the inside of my cheek, and blood flavors my tongue.
“Let’s not jump the gun. I might not get the job, but if I do, then we can celebrate.”
She tosses the magazine onto the table, clutches her mug and drains the rest of her tea, then rests the cup back on the coffee table.
“Sure.” She wiggles her thin eyebrows. “Did you see those sexy men at your father’s retirement party? Including Atlas?”
Ever since I ran into him, his compliment has been playing in the back of my mind like a broken tune, and I need to stop thinking about his words. It’s nice to hear a compliment since I haven’t heard one from a guy in a long time. He made me feel wanted, but I can’t get caught up in his web. Men like him treat women like shit. As soon as he’s done playing with me, he’ll toss me away like a used blow-up sex doll and move on to something prettier, like my ex-fiancé did to me. Love has never treated me kindly, so I don’t need it. I don’t like the way he makes my heart flutter, nor the way butterflies flip in my stomach, nor the fact that I touched myself a few times to his gorgeous face. Even now, adrenaline courses through my veins, making my pulse beat rapidly when I think about him. There is no room for me to date anyone, and I have to focus on my career and take care of my mother. Nothing else is important.
“Yeah,” I answer nonchalantly.
Her cheeks turn crimson. “I saw the way you two were sitting at the patio.”
I should have known she was paying attention to us. Nothing gets past her. She’s on top of all the gossip with her friends and celebrities.
I rub the side of my temple, the horns from the street honking loudly, and people strolling back and forth on the concrete sidewalk, making me anxious. I don’t know if I’ll ever get used to the city. The noise, the people, the smell. It’s new. My family vacationed here a few times, and I had my father move my mom up here after the accident, but I’ve never taken the time to explore the city. I cock an eyebrow and angle my head to the side. “You saw that?”
She nods. “What did he say to you?”
I’m not going to tell Poppy exactly what he said because she’ll read into it too much.
I nibble on my plump lip. “Nothing.”
“The way he stared at you all night long before speaking to you…” she trails off, and shivers as if it brought chills to her. “He wants you.”
I straighten my spine. “Nah, I’m not his type.”
“You’re every bit of his type. He always looked at you like you hung the stars in his universe, but you never noticed because you were with Carter. I stalked Atlas on Google.I wanted to see if he’s single, and he is.”
Leave it up to Poppy to want to play matchmaker. After my ex-fiancé, Carter, broke up with me, she made me a profile on a dating app and set me up on a blind date. She was trying to help me out of my slump, so I didn’t get mad at her.
“You do realize you’re borderline crazy, right?”
She gently smacks her right cheek, acting fake shocked. “I am not.” She pauses. “You need to put yourself out there. After the car accident you haven’t been the same. You’ve been distant. Especially after Carter broke up with you. You should live a little.” She sighs. “I’m not trying to tell you how to deal with your trauma, because I wouldn’t know what it feels like to be in your shoes, but I’m saying you didn’t die in the car accident.”
I lost friends and my ex because of the car accident. The life I had before was great. I was partying, planning a wedding, and graduated from the Academy of Art University. Now, I’m trapped in my own head. Most days, I want to stay in bed, but I don’t because I know my mom wouldn’t be happy if I did.
I’m done with this conversation. She’s right, but I’m not ready to put myself out there, especially when I don’t have many options when it comes to men. Most men don’t look my way and I don’t turn heads like I used to. I’ve become invisible, and I’m not going to set myself up for failure thinking someone is going to love me.
I nudge myself off the couch and throw on my black Vans. “You ready to go? I have to meet with my mom.”
“Of course.”
As we ride in the cab together, Poppy discusses the details of her wedding. She wants me to design the dress. Once the driver comes to a complete stop in front of her fiancé’s apartment complex, she hugs me, lets me know she’ll text me later, then she climbs out of the taxi. As I watch her disappear through the double doors, I tell the taxi to drop me off at my mother’s group home.
