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She sends another message.
Boots: Christmas is in a few days. you are welcome to spend it with me. But don’t expect me to take you back. I’m doing it because I don’t want us to be alone on a holiday.
Me: Okay, Boots.
This is the perfect time to go ahead with my plans for her.
Christmas Day …
My calf aches as I sprint all the way to my cottage, Atlas on my heels. Once we make it to the front door, I twist the knob, but he grabs me by the forearm. This time I don’t pull away as my heart beats a million times a minute.
“I want you to spend Christmas at my place today,” Atlas says as the wind blows his hair out of his face.
“Sure.”
I nibble on my bottom lip to keep from smiling. He grabs me by the hand and leads me to his cottage, and tension zaps between us. Once I’m inside, I inhale the scent of honey ham, mac and cheese, and candied yams, and my mouth waters. He yanks out my chair and I sit, playing with the edge of my shirt. He warms up my plate of food and places it in front of me before he sits across from me. I gaze around the room, and it’s nice and simple like my place. Beige couch with light wooden end tables. I glance at the pictures hanging on the walls of me and him, his friends, and his mother. A lit Christmas tree is tucked away in the corner, and Christmas music hums in the background.
A million thoughts pass through my mind, to the last time we had a meal during Thanksgiving. I glance up at Atlas to find him staring at me, and I stare back. Tension is built between us, and I don’t know what to say or do. I want to tell him I love him, and I miss him, but I reframe from doing it. I’ve been thinking about what Poppy said, and she was right. I need to hear him out.
We eat in silence, not taking our eyes off each other, and I can’t stand the tension between us. I want him to say something. Once we’re finished with our meals, he picks up our plates and tells me he’ll be back in a second.
Warm air tickles my skin, and I notice the scent of his lingering cologne. My heart gallops in my chest.
He comes back with a big envelope, handing it to me.
“Your Christmas gift.”
I study the thick envelope. “I didn’t buy you anything.”
“I already had my gift from you, spending Christmas with you.” He grabs my palms, and I melt, warmth spreading across my face. “I’m sorry for hurting you. Those words I said to you when I broke up with you were mean. I didn’t mean them. I said those things because I was scared to be in a loveless relationship. I’ve spent my life trying to avoid being like my mother, but instead, I turned out like my father, cold and heartless, and I ended up hurting the only person I have ever been in love with.”
He tangles his thick fingers with mine. “You were more than a fling to me, you were my girlfriend, and I used your weakness against you. I’m sorry. I don’t want you to ever feel as if I don’t want you, and I won’t ever make you feel as if you’re not loved. Will you forgive me?”
“How do I know you won’t hurt me again?”
“You don’t. You have to trust me, but I can promise you I’m going to watch what I say when I’m angry.” His words are sincere. “I promise you I’ll spend the rest of my life making up for how I treated you.”
Do I want to trust him? Can I?
“You don’t have to answer right away, I’ll wait for you for as long as you need me to. Open your gift.”
I tear open the envelope and yank out a wad of paper. When I unfold them, I read the first page. My eyes widen and my mouth hangs open.
It’s a clothing manufacturer contract between me and Atlas, then a check for fifty million dollars falls onto the wooden dinner table.
“I quit the board.”
“Why?”
“So I can be with you. I love my career, but I have another dream and it’s being with you and working with you to build your dreams.”
“I don’t want you to give up your dreams.”
“It’s not a real dream if it wasn’t mine from the beginning. My dream was never to be my father’s legacy. My real dream is to be with you. If I’m working all the time, how am going to be a good husband to you?”
Tears leak from my eyes, and I realize that Poppy was right. I did need to hear him out, and I do want to build my life with him, and one day, I want to marry him and have a family together. For a while, I believed I wasn’t capable of finding love, that no one would love me and I didn’t deserve love because of the way I was treated in the past. Now, I realize I do deserve love, and I am loveable.
He squats down in front of me to wipe every tear that falls and when I stand up, he stands and wraps his arms around my waist, and butterflies assault my stomach.
