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I disappear into the bathroom to change. They hang loose on my small frame, and I hook the dress I wore to the ball on the bathroom door with a hanger.
By the time I make it back to the bedroom, my nerves are shot. Jasper has already changed into his pajama pants and is lying on the bed. I eye the couch. I debate if I should sleep there tonight, because I’m afraid that if I sleep in the bed with him I will lose control. I need to put on my big girl panties and be brave.
Every step I make closer to the bed, it feels like my feet are tied to cinder blocks.
Slowly, I yank the covers that are made out of fine thread back and slip into the comfy bed. The question plays in the back of my mind. Will he give me a child? I want one later on. I want to be a mother.
“If I want children, would you be able to give me them?”
His eyes search mine and a frown stamps his face. “No, I don’t want kids.”
Sadness swallows me whole. I feel as if my dreams are being shattered one by one. A love without marriage is one thing, but a marriage without a child is another. Another reason why I shouldn’t agree to this. My mother always told me I was a nosedive type of person, and I didn’t realize what she meant until now. My heart sinks like a ship.
“Why?”
He turns his back to me, effectively shutting me out, indicating that this conversation is over. “Get on birth control, Poppy.” He sighs. “When we have sex, we will always use a condom, and I will provide them.”
Ominous feelings take over me, and I sense something he’s not telling me. What is he hiding? I want to push further but I refrain. I figure if he wanted me to know something, he would open his mouth and tell me. Jasper is emotionally unavailable, so he’s not going to tell me. Most men who are like him don’t open up, so I’m not expecting him to.
“We’re not having sex,” I remind him. His logic doesn’t make any sense. “Why do you want me to get on birth control anyway if you’re using a condom? We will be married and we agreed to be faithful to each other.”
He completely ignores me and says, “Google, turn off the lights.” The room darkens but the moonlight brightens the room. The quiet room fills with Jasper’s soft snoring.
Yes, I made a terrible mistake in agreeing to this marriage, and now it’s too late for me to back out.
Welcome to my new life of lovelessness and childlessness.
Poppy
The next morning when I wake up, Jasper is not in bed.
This is the most comfortable bed I have ever slept in, and I haven’t had a good night’s rest since I moved into my apartment. I’m so glad I don’t have to go back to that shitty place again. I’m truly grateful Jasper got me out of my dire living conditions. My back doesn’t hurt as much, and I no longer wake up to the smell of mildew.
Today, I have to discuss my new job and the day I start. Lord knows I don’t want to go back to that shitty bar filled with perverted men. I crinkle my nose as the sun bleeds through the window, brightening the room.
What exactly is an executive assistant?
I grab my phone from the nightstand and unlock it, then I pull up the Google search engine. I type inexecutive assistance job description. So many links pop up so I click on the first one and scan through it.
It says I would pretty much run errands, host meetings, and do whatever Jasper needs me to do as his assistant. I hope it pays well enough for me to be able to move out, in the event that shit hits the fan between us. We’ll have to discuss the pay.
I bring my knees to my chest and watch a couple arguing through the window in the next building, then I avert my eyes to the floor.
I hate that my life will be so entangled with his, but I have to suck it up and be a big girl. I hate that I have to fake that I’m in love with someone I’m not. Everything about this feels wrong, but I have to do what I have to do to get what I want. The sacrifice will be worth it in the end.
I roll out of bed and I stride to the spacious walk-in closet. His side is arranged by colors, and I look to my left to find there are new women’s clothes, also arranged by color. I grab a label. It’s designer and the dress cost sixty grand. Holy shit, that’s a lot of money. I’ve worn clothes that were a thousand dollars, but sixty grand is a lot. Sometimes I forget that Jasper is a billionaire. Even when the market is down, he’s still filthy rich.
When did he have the time to order me new clothes?
I grab a white tank top and a pair of yoga pants, nothing fancy, then I shower. The showerhead is made from real gold, it seems, along with the knobs and the handle on the glass door. Holding my head high in an attempt to build some courage, I stride to the spacious kitchen to prepare myself to greet my future husband.
Jasper leans against the dark granite counter, a mug in his hand, his hair is combed to the side and his beard is neatly trimmed. The Armani suit he wears hugs his built frame. I try not to ogle him but I can’t help it. His cheekbones and mouth are perfectly symmetrical, along with the rest of his face. His tan skin is smooth. His facial expression is controlled, his dominant frame owning this room. He looks like a Greek god.
He watches me like a hawk, studying my every move through his glasses, and he looks so fucking hot. I feel the back of my neck burning like the sun. His eyes are glued to my outfit, then move to my face. Jasper clears his throat, sits down then pats the seat next to him at the breakfast nook. “The chef made you an omelet with bacon and bell peppers.” His tone is low. Slowly, I slide into the seat and my heart leapfrogs in my chest. My God, the man makes me so flustered, like a teenage schoolgirl.
How am I supposed to act? Link gave me a list of things he wanted me to do for him. Is Jasper going to do the same thing? I hope not. I don’t want our lives to be that entangled with each other’s.
Jasper grabs the pitcher of orange juice on the counter and pours me a glass before setting it in front of me. I grab the crystal glass and sip slowly. This is the most refreshing orange juice I’ve ever had. Sitting the glass down, I blurt out what’s been on my mind since I saw the walk-in closet. “When did you have the time to buy me new clothes?”
