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The waiter sets our meals in front of us, and we eat in silence for a few minutes until she says, “I talked to my mother, and she wants to have dinner with us again with just the family.”
“Are you sure you want to do that again? Your mother doesn’t care about your well-being,” I say in between bites.
“Yeah, I do. She’s my mother, and despite our differences I still want her around.”
This need to seek her mother’s approval is getting on my nerves, but if that’s what she wants, I have to support her.
Poppy is going to have to learn on her own, when her mother breaks her heart again, I’ll be there to pick up the pieces.
Chance comes to our table, drops off an envelope, and leaves without a word.
Poppy eyeballs it and cocks her eyebrow. “What is this?”
I pull out the wad of paper inside and I slide it over to her. “I want to redo our contract. Where we become friends with benefits behind closed doors. Where I get to fuck your brains out, and we use each other for company.”
She glares, pouts at me, then rips the contract in half, tossing it at my face. “Are you fucking serious? You’re still treating me like a business deal. I thought we moved past this.”
She gets up from her seat and bangs her hand on the table. “I’m not a fucking business deal, Jasper.”
“We started off as one, Poppy.” I pause. “I can’t have a relationship with you without one.”
She folds her arms across her chest and her eyes gloss over. I don’t understand her. Why is she acting like this? Why is she so upset?
“No. I’m not signing any more contracts. If you want to be friends with benefits, then you will treat me as one—a friend, that is. I’m not a business deal.”
I stand up and slap two crisp hundred-dollar bills onto the table. “You didn’t have a problem with it before.”
“Things have changed between us. You and I both know it. I thought you were going to ask me to be your girlfriend or try to make this marriage real.”
I take a step toward her, but she takes one back and puts her hands up to stop me. “Why would we make our marriage real? Why would I make you my girlfriend?”
She doesn’t respond. What I thought wasn’t going to happen, happened. I gave her false hope into thinking we were going to be more than a business transaction. I crossed too many lines, and I painted a picture to her that I wanted more, which I didn’t mean to do.
Yes, I do want more with her. I want us to sleep together and be friends.
Tears streak down her cheeks and she shakes her head, using the backs of her hands to wipe them away. Pain radiates from my chest. I didn’t mean to make her cry.
“You’re right. I shouldn’t have thought we could be anything more.” She gently yanks on her ponytail. I have never seen her look so defeated. “I’ll see you later. Enjoy your meal.”
I watch her leave, and I sit back in my seat and finish my meal. Alone.
I made a big mistake when I let her walk out of here, but my pride stands in the way of me going after her. I gave her false hope, allowing her to think this relationship is something more than just business.
Maybe I’m way in over my head with this marriage.
I do like Poppy, and I know she has feelings for me, but I don’t think I can take this relationship any further without a signed business contract. The thought alone scares me.
Poppy
Ididn’t go home last night so I stayed in a luxury hotel and pigged out on junk food. I needed time to myself. I thought being with Jasper and opening myself up would change his view of seeing me as a business transaction. I thought for sure he wanted to make this marriage real and we would have made love, but I was so wrapped up in my own feelings that I didn’t take the time to think about how he felt. I thought we moved past this relationship being all about business, but I was so wrong. Too wrong. He doesn’t want me in the way I want him. I wouldn’t mind being friends with benefits, but I’m not signing any contract. It’s stupid, not to mention dumb.
It sounded like a good idea in the beginning because we were strangers, but we’re not anymore.
I’m so glad today is Saturday because I don’t want to see him. The pain in my chest stings, and I allow myself to get caught in a fantasy that we can somehow be friends without all the strings attached. Just Jasper and Poppy. Not business partners. I was too stupid to believe he was going to ask me to be his girlfriend or try to work on our marriage to make it real. I thought he had feelings for me the way I do, but I guess I was wrong about all of that. He gives me mixed signals and it leaves me more confused.
I munch on some chips and flip through the channels on the television. I went over my head thinking we could be more, that I’d be more than a business transaction, more than a business deal to him. I deserve more. Much more. I deserve to be happy with a husband who actually wants me around.
Tears leak down my cheeks, I thought I was okay but deep down, I’m not. I’m always putting my needs on the back burner, and it doesn’t feel good. So what am I going to do about Jasper? It’s too late to back out of our relationship. If I end things, my mother will be disappointed in me. She’ll probably never speak to me ever again, especially now that my parents are out of debt.
