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28
SASHA
He walks out the door,and it is only then that I let my tears fall. Time and time again this happens. He seemed happy to be with me, but then doesn’t want to be with me? I cry into my pillow and feel like my heart is breaking into a million little pieces. I sob for what seems like forever, and I know without a doubt that I can’t be anywhere near him. I know he’s going to balk if I try to leave, and I know there is a risk that my father will not keep his word and have his men come after me, but he could have killed me several times and hasn’t so I decide to take my chances.
I send my sister a text, and she writes back that she is on her way to Italy with Matt so that he and Jay can work out some business deal to form a new security company.
When will you arrive? I am not staying with Jay. I’ll get a ride to a hotel and catch a flight back to Chicago tomorrow.
I am so happy that she’s found someone that makes her happy, but I can’t help the twinge of jealousy I feel.
A steely determination overtakes me. I am no longer going to allow my happiness to depend on the men in my life. I will focus on my career and make all of my dreams come true. A relationship will just cut into practice time anyway. I head into the bathroom to wash my tear stains away. “No more!” I say into the mirror. “No more!” Never will I let my heart be exposed like this again. Never! I slide out of my nightie and put a bra on to go with my panties and decide to burn some energy. I hit one of my exercise playlists, and the soft and lilting music fills the room. I begin to stretch, relishing in the burn after a few days off with no practice.
My phone rings and I pick it up seeing my sister’s name flash across the screen. “Hey, we’re going to land in two hours, and Matt says we can pick you up and make sure you are checked into a hotel,” Marenah says.
“Excellent! I’ll meet you there. We land in a couple hours. Love you,” I say before sliding to the floor in a full split, bending through it to feel the stretch from my inner thighs running all the way to my pointed toes. I follow through to stretch over my right leg, allowing my body to bend and my fingers to grasp my toes. I feel the stretch all the way down my side and waist and arms. I let my muscles soak in the movement and then do the same with my other leg. This is what I needed, and I begin to sink into my routine and for the next hour stretch, squat, and lift, using the dresser and mirror as my dance table.
I feel completely refreshed when I’m done and unclasp the small clip of my bra and walk toward the bathroom to jump into the shower. The warm water pelting over my skin feels invigorating after a long workout, and the shampoo smells amazing. I lather it into my hair, massaging my scalp and neck before I apply the thick creamy conditioner, allowing it to soak into the long strands while I shave. When I’m rinsed, I dry off with a towel from the warming station, slip into my robe, and wrap another towel around my hair before heading back into the bedroom. I pull up the listing for flight options from Italy to Chicago tomorrow. There are several choices and a couple with a few first-class seats left, so I’ll book once at the hotel. I look up hotels and then surrounding boutiques until I find one that will have what I want. One quick call and everything I need to feel dressed to the nines and like me again are purchased and will be waiting at the hotel when I check in, along with a brand-new suitcase.
I get dressed and packed, placing a change of clothes and my baseball hat into my weekender bag. Jay’s t-shirt is laying on one of the chairs in the corner. I pick it up and inhale his scent and hold it against me before slipping it into my purse. It is all that I have left except memories. I hold the tears back once more and steel myself to walk through that door where everyone will be. His entire team will know that Jay is done with me, just like Brian. I raise my chin with a determination not to let my feelings show, and open the door.
To my surprise, it is entirely empty. Not one person is in the main cabin. The captain announces our final descent, and I slip into a seat by the window and watch the lights of the city looming far below in the night. I should be happy that Jay isn’t sitting in this room and has left me to my own, but the sense of finality hits me even harder. We are finished and not even the fact that I was the one to end us helps diminish the hurt I feel.
I pull up the news on my phone and scan through the top stories of the day, skimming over them because I can’t even pretend to focus. When the pilot announces that we will be landing momentarily, I brace myself, just like I always do, until the wheels are on the ground and we are flying across the runway, coming to a complete stop and then taxiing in close to the airport.
The security office door opens and out walks Dereck, Nick, Cole, and Brigett is next while Jay holds the door open for her as she passes through. I lower my eyes. I can’t stand the looks that will most certainly be sent my way or the cattiness of that cheap whore. As if sensing the need for someone on my side, Serena appears from the service area and opens the door. “I’ll walk out with you, I’m not flying back with the crew,” she says.
“No?”
She shakes her head. “They will get a hotel for the night and then leave on the next assignment. My grandmother, my nonna, is close by and I’m going to spend some time with her,” Serena says.
“That’s wonderful. I’m sure your nonna will be excited to see you,” I say.
“I can’t wait to see her, either. She is such a blessing,” Serena says shyly.
“Thanks so much for everything,” I say.
“Let’s go,” Serena says, leading the way down the ramp to the private airport entrance. I stop and turn, and Jay almost runs right into me. The look on his face is icy, but Brigett is standing by his side, smiling at me. I would love nothing more than to smack that look right off the bitch’s face, but I won’t give her the satisfaction of knowing how badly I am hurting.
I take a deep breath. Might as well get the conversation over. “I’m not going to Chase’s with you, Jay. Matt and my sister will be picking me up shortly and taking me to a hotel. I’ll catch a flight back home tomorrow. I need to run to the restroom before I meet them,” I say, spinning on my heels and heading toward the restroom sign.
My heart is pounding as I walk into the stall. Jay didn’t say a word, just like I knew he wouldn’t. The thought that Matt wouldn’t text him my plan is ludicrous. They are on the same team, and as soon as I hung up with Marenah, he probably sent Jay a text. I unzip, slip out of my heels and pull the dress over my head. I slide into a pair of skinny jean leggings and a cami, into my flats, put on a hoodie, tie my hair in a pony and slide it underneath the baseball hat that I angle sideways.
I pull my purse out of the weekender. The heels I’m wearing won’t fit into my purse; I’ll have to leave them. Dammit! I hang the weekender on the hook on the back of the stall, apply bright red lipstick, check my reflection in the mirror, throw my purse over my shoulder and walk out the door. I keep my eyes averted, on the ground in front of me and stride right out of the airport heading to the ground level which will take me to the taxi area.
I don’t speak a word of Italian and pull up the hotel I’ve reserved on my phone to show the driver when he stops. I get into the back seat angling my phone towards him, and he nods, smiling.
“I know exactly where that is,” he says in perfect English as he navigates us into the oncoming traffic.
I wait until we are clear before I send my sister the message. I don’t want her to worry, but I am also not foolhardy enough not to know that if Jay thinks I am still in danger he will try to keep me with him and I’m not staying.
Change of plans. I will see you next month in Russia. Love you!
What’s going on? Where are you? I’m at the airport looking for you.
Bathroom on the second floor by the shoeshine vendor. I left a bag in the bathroom stall. Can you grab it for me?
You are SO pissing me right off!
