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Erik rolls his eyes and nods. “Right. Not until after pictures. Then I’m losing the coat.”
Jules kisses his cheek and smiles fondly. “Fair.” He turns to me. “And what fabulousness are you wearing? It can be whatever you want.”
I eye him skeptically. If anyone could say that and actually mean it, it would be these two, but that’s still a lot of leeway to give me. “Are you sure?”
He nods. “Absolutely. Whatever you’re feeling that day, wear it. You’ll be surrounded by people who love and accept all of you. And if anyone’s plus one gives you a sideways look, I’ll have Erik pound them into the ground.” Erik rolls his eyes.
I stare, shocked. “Wait, you’re doing plus ones? Won’t that be stressful for you? You won’t know them.”
Jules leans into Erik, so I know he’s putting on a brave face. “It’s fine. I’ll know most everyone there, so the nine potential plus ones won’t be too much to handle when I’m surrounded by the people I love. You can bring a plus one, too, you know.”
It’s a generous offer and a testament to both how kind-hearted my brother is and how good Erik is for him. “Thank you, hon, but there isn’t anyone I’m seeing right now.” Or likely to be in the foreseeable future, no matter what Blake said. He was a hookup, and now he’s a client. Yes, there’s chemistry there—sooo much chemistry—but that doesn’t mean he’d actually want to date me. I’m far too much for someone like him. I snort, imagining him showing up to work functions with a partner and having to explain gender fluidity. Every. Time. It’s exhausting. I know. “So you’ll have to settle for fabulous me.”
“There is no settling because you are perfect as you are. And if you change your mind and want to bring someone, even at the last minute, it’s fine.”
“Thanks, sweetie.” I’m sure Blake wouldn’t really want to come to the wedding with me. Not as my date, in a house full of my relatives and friends. That’s way too much to ask when he barely knows me. I file it away alongside my dream of finding a meaningful relationship with someone who accepts me exactly as I am. If that guy is out there, the chances of meeting him are worse than finding a needle in a haystack. Blake is not that needle, as much as I’d love to find him in my haystack.
9
Blake
“Blake,areyougoingto stand next to the hot tub all day, or are you getting in at any point? And why are you being so grumpy? This is your party, and you love parties.” I glare down at Astrid, but she laughs. She has three brothers, so nothing fazes her, least of all me.
“I’m not grumpy.” It’s true. I’m not. What I am is nervous. This is the first time Stef and I will be in a social situation since we started working together.Ifthey ever get here. Truth be told, I’m not quite sure how to behave. There’s an energy that charges the air whenever we’re together, and no matter how hard we try, we can’t turn it off. Okay, I might not be trying that hard. But they’re just so damned gorgeous and really sweet. I like being around them and want to get to know them better.
It’s actually one of the reasons I’m hosting this pool party. I promised Mia and Tadgh I’d be more social and do things with him and his friends. It just so happens that Stef is one of Tadhg’s friends. It would have been awkwardnotto invite them, since the rest of the group is here. Even Stef’s brother showed up, although Tadhg warned me Jules might not want to come because of his social anxiety.
“Come on, Sunshine, leave the poor guy alone. He’s relearning how to relax. Let him dip his toe in the water.”
I turn my glare on Gary. “Et tu, Brute?”
He shrugs. “Hey, you said so yourself. You’re out of practice.”
I make a half grunt, half laugh of agreement but don’t say anything else. So much for this being a relaxing experience. I’m so tense, I can feel an ache in my shoulders. If I’m not careful, I’ll need a relaxation session to recover from relaxing. “I’m getting a drink. Need anything?”
Astrid lifts her mostly full margarita, waving it at me. “Nope. I’m good.”
“I’ll take another beer if you’re buying.” Gary hands me his empty, and I head into the house, second guessing the wisdom of this whole party.
I’m behind the game room bar pouring myself a Blanton’s, when my phone buzzes in my pocket. Expecting a text from one of my editors, I swipe it open without looking. An alert for the front gate pops up, and my heart rate skyrockets, adrenaline flooding my system. It has to be Stef. They’re the only one who hasn’t arrived yet. My hands shake. Jesus, this is ridiculous. I’m acting like a goddamned teenager with a crush, not a forty-four-year-old owner of a publishing company.
I inhale deeply, holding it for a moment, then exhale slowly. When that doesn’t stop my racing pulse, I follow it with a mouthful of whiskey. Switching the app to video mode, I watch Stef’s car pull into the front circle. Before they even park, I set down my glass and bolt up the stairs two at a time, dashing through the kitchen to the front door. I have one eye on my phone screen, basically creeping on them as they exit the car, duffle thrown over their shoulder, and yank the front door open before they have a chance to knock. So much for being relaxed and composed. “Hey. You made it.”
Stef’s dark eyes devour me in a way that makes me warm all over and glad I’m wearing swim trunks, not swim briefs. Not that I mind being the center of their attention. In fact, their gaze lingers on my bare chest and arms before slowly meeting my eyes, and it’s hot as hell. “I did.”
I clear my throat and step back. “C’mon in. Everyone’s already out on the patio.” Stef follows me into the house, and I close the door before taking my turn to look. From head to toe they’re all lean, compact muscle, and their body-hugging black leggings and matching tank leave nothing to my imagination. I quickly adjust myself, not sure I’m prepared to see them in swim trunks. “Do you need someplace to change?”
Stef groans and my already interested cock throbs. “That would be great. I really want to get out of these sweaty clothes. I’m not opposed to a little exhibitionism, but stripping in front of my friends might be a bit much, even for me.” They laugh, like that isn’t exploding my brain with hundreds of questions and inappropriate thoughts. “I’d also love to take a quick shower, if that’s alright. I came directly from my session with the university ballet company, and we always work up a sweat.”
Now my brain is fighting over which image to fixate on: Stef sweaty and bent over in those leggings or Stef naked in my shower. My cock is eagerly on board with either of these images, well on its way to tenting the front of my trunks. I bite the inside of my cheek, hoping the pain will distract me. “Absolutely. You can use mine.” They follow me through my small den and into my bedroom. “The shower is through there.” I gesture to the dark doorway on the other side of the bed. Their eyes dart all over, like they’re trying to take in everything at once without seeming to look at anything. It’s adorable and eases some of my nerves. “Everyone is down on the patio. I invited a few friends from work, and I’d like to introduce you to them when you come down, if that’s okay. What pronouns should I use?”
Stef’s eyes go soft. “Thank you for asking, Blake. That means a lot. They/them today, please.”
“Okay. Do you want a drink? I can make it and have it ready for you when you come downstairs.”
There’s a long pause, then Stef steps closer, placing a hand on my bare chest. They’re not near enough to kiss, but it’s definitely inside my personal space and the electricity between us is intense. I can smell vanilla and clean sweat, and I want to pull them against me and bury my nose in their neck. “I’d love a sparkling vodka cranberry, if you have it. If not, surprise me.” Their grin is impish. “You’ve already surprised me a few times today.” Before I have the chance to ask how, they wink and sashay off to the bathroom.
In a daze, I go back downstairs, reminding myself that we’re keeping things business-like. There are still four more sessions to get through, so I need to calm the fuck down. Once I’m behind the bar, I take another healthy sip of my whiskey and try not to imagine Stef, naked in my shower, soap bubbles gliding over their wet skin. With a groan, I press the heels of my hands against my eyes. I’m so fucked.
