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He bites his lip and searches my eyes, and I hope to god he sees what he needs in them. “Are you really getting help?”
I nod. “Yeah. I’m seeing Cass every Thursday evening. It’s a standing appointment for now.” I swallow the fear sitting just inside my throat and take one more chance. “Maybe—maybe you could come with me at some point. Talk to her with me.”
Silence hangs between us, and fear grips my heart because there’s a real possibility he could say no. He squeezes my hands. “I missed you too.” A small sob slips past my lips as Jocelin wraps his arms around my waist and leans into me. I hold him as tight as I can, burying my face in his neck. “And I do love you, more than you will ever know. But if you ever fucking do this to me again, I promise you, Gunnar, I will kill you.”
It’s not meant to be funny, at least, I don’t think so, but I’m so fucking relieved I can’t help laughing. “I swear I won’t. Never again.” I inhale the familiar citrus smell of his cologne, mixed with the natural scent of his skin, and the tension I’ve been holding pours from my body in waves.
“Don’t make promises you shouldn’t. I’ve talked to Astrid and started doing a little research on my own about PTSD. I don’t claim to understand everything, and I need to learn how to help you instead of blame you, but I want to get there. I want to be able to support you when you have another episode.”
“Good, because I can’t promise I’m not gonna fuck up again. It may be in some other way, or it might be the same boneheaded move. After all, I’m an Osouf brother. Seems like every few years, at least one of us does something monumentally stupid. But we do try never to repeat ourselves.”
Jocelin chuckles and kisses the side of my head. “Gunnar Osouf, what am I going to do with you?”
I close my eyes as Jocelin’s lips brush against my ear, then over my temple. “Absolutely anything you want.” Lifting my head, I kiss his cheek. Then he turns, and our lips meet, and every butterfly in my stomach bursts into flight. “I missed you.” I pepper his lips and cheeks with soft, feathery kisses. “I love you.”
His smile is radiant. “Shut up and kiss me like you mean it.”
I don’t need to be told twice. I press my mouth to his, my tongue darting out to flick against his soft lips as I grasp frantically at him. Jocelin pulls back first, his kiss-swollen lips tempting me in again. As I try to chase after another kiss, he moves backward, leading me by the hand toward the stairs.
My heart hammers so loudly in my chest that I can hear it in my ears. “Joce. Are you sure?” He doesn’t say anything, but his smile widens, and he speeds up the pace. When we reach his bed, he turns to face me, shaking hands quickly unbuttoning my shirt. Thank god I’m not the only one with nerves. “Joce.”
“Shhhh.” With each opened button, Jocelin places a gentle kiss against my skin, slowly working his way down my body until he’s sitting on the bed, focused on opening the front of my jeans. He looks up at me with a saucy grin and pushes my pants and boxer briefs to the floor as I shake my shirt off my shoulders. He glides his hands up my thighs, wrapping a fist around the base of my cock, and fuck, that feels incredible. I moan, sliding my fingers through his hair as he sucks me into his mouth, teasing me with little swirls of his tongue, gently tugging the head of my cock with his lips. It’s so fucking hot.He’sso hot.
“Joce.” I stroke his cheek, holding his gaze as he looks up at me. “I love you.”
He releases me with a pop, his half-lidded eyes smoldering with lust. “Show me.” Leaning back across the mattress, he pulls me with him, and I go willingly, covering his body with mine. I nuzzle along his jaw, enjoying the scrape of the short beard he’s kept, and push his T-shirt up his torso. When he grabs the hem and pulls it off, I take full advantage of the unhindered access, caressing his body, nibbling at his neck, slowly grinding my cock against his hip. “I’ve missed you,mon amour. I’ve missed you here in our bed.”
A possessive growl rumbles in my throat.Ourbed.MyJocelin. “God, I’ve missed you too. So much.” I kneel between his legs and slip my fingers under the waistband of his boxer briefs, tugging them and his sweatpants down in one quick move. His cock slaps against his torso with a satisfying smack. Slowly, I stroke my fingertips along his slender length, all the way to the damp tip.
He shudders under my touch and thrusts against my hand. “Mon chéri, please don’t tease. Not now. I need you too much. I need to feel you inside me.” The words are like a stroke to my cock, and I groan. With a nod, I reach into the nightstand and dig out the bottle of lube, squeezing a generous amount into my palm because there’s no way I can deny him anything. I coat both hands, stroking myself as I slowly slip two fingers into his tight body. His sexy mouth goes slack, and he gasps, his hips pushing against my hand. “Oh,mon dieu, yes. Like that.” I gently work him open, my heart soaring at all the little sounds of pleasure he’s making. “Please,mon chéri. I’ve missed you too much. Don’t make me wait.”
“Anything for you, love.” I gently slip my fingers from him and grab his hips, pulling him closer as I slowly ease into his warm body. He squeezes around me, pulling me deeper, and I groan.
“Fuuuuuck. Joce.” His eyes drift closed, and his mouth goes slack in a silent gasp of pleasure, and I can’t take my eyes off him. The absolute bliss on his face is riveting. “You are so beautiful.”
“I’ve missed you,mon chéri.” He pulls me down, kissing me with a passion and hunger that match my own. “I’ve missed this.”
As I roll into him with long, deep strokes, his nimble fingers caress my body anywhere he can reach. His touch is like fire, burning invisible fingerprints on my skin, marking me as his, and I want more. I pick up the pace until my hips beat a quick staccato against him, each thrust punctuated by his filthy moans that increase in pitch and volume. We’re desperate to touch, eagerly kissing, hands grasping in almost feral need. “God, Gunnar, that feels so good.” Jocelin thrusts his hips against me, vibrating with tension. He looks almost pained, but the sounds he’s making are pure lust, and they’re going straight to my aching cock.
“You like that, baby?” I press more firmly, and Jocelin’s breath catches in his throat.
“Fu… ck...” I grab his shoulders, pulling him toward me, thrusting into his body with powerful strokes. His cock is rock hard and straining against his belly, leaking enough precum to form a little puddle beneath him on the mattress.
With a groan, he takes himself in hand, matching the almost brutal pace I’m setting, and I know neither of us will last much longer. The sheer concentration on his face, the soft mewling, and the way his body shakes, I know he’s already close. I thrust harder, needing him to come because I’m that close too. “Shit, Joce. You look so fucking gorgeous. I missed you so fucking much, baby.” Jocelin’s entire body seizes and shakes as his hips thrust violently against me, thick ropes of come painting his chest. Like hitting a brick wall, my orgasm slams into me, and I shout his name, my body spasming as I bury myself deep inside him.
I collapse on top of him, ignoring the mess in my post-orgasmic haze. Gathering him close, I wrap myself around him, burying my face in his neck. The combined smell of sweat, come, and citrus fills my senses, and I sigh, drained but ridiculously happy and at peace. Jocelin’s legs are wrapped tightly around my hips, and he doesn’t seem keen to let go anytime soon. I run a hand down his thigh and squeeze his knee. “Can I hold you?” He hums his approval and relaxes his grip around my waist. Carefully, I pull out and roll onto my side, drawing him close until we’re nose to nose. “I love you, Joce. I’m sorry I hurt you.”
He strokes my face, and I lean into his touch. “Shhh. I believe you. And you’re here now, where you belong.” He kisses me slowly, filling my heart with so much happiness it might burst out of my chest. “Tell me again,mon chéri.”
I smile against his lips. “I love you. With all my heart, I love you, Jocelin.” I nibble at the corner of his mouth, place a gentle kiss on the tip of his nose, trail kisses along his jaw, and with each soft brush of my lips, I whisper it over and over. “I love you.”
He chuckles and hugs me tightly. “I love you too,mon cœur.”
I settle on the pillow next to him, our faces only inches apart. “I have something for you.”
Jocelin’s eyes widen. “Really?” His smile turns wicked. “Is it a bribe?”
I kiss him just below his ear, his warm breath ghosting across my shoulder. “Well, I wasn’t above a bribe, if it came to that. Do you want it now?”
