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“Beaver asshole?” Jag said as he stood. “Is that an asshole on a beaver or a vagina that looks or smells like an asshole? Or an asshole that looks or smells like a beaver—either type?”
He really did remind me of Juniper with the bad sex jokes and the sudden shift to rage and violence when pressed—though Juniper didn’t roar when tackling someone like he had.
“You have more thoughts about this than Dick Fingers has had in his entire life.”
Jag chuckled. “Haha, dick.”
“Come on, before that asshole tases us.”
I led Jag and Beverly down the corridor and into my group therapy room. The beginning of every meeting was people grabbing coffee and hanging out because our therapist was always late. Plus, former alcoholics needed the fix that had replaced alcohol. In prison, that was coffee that tasted like it had sat under a radiator for a week.
As we entered the room, Lomao, who had removed one leg from her jumpsuit to “show off her calf” cooed at Beverly. “Look at the handsome cute-cute!”
Beverly seemed to know when someone was being kind because she waddled over to Lomao, who kneeled to pet her. “You’re just too adorable for this place. Yes, you are.”
Beverly seemed safe for now, so I turned to Jag. “Why didn’t you side with Ram?”
He sniffed and stood straighter. “That asshole? He’s as dishonest as a boner on a corpse.”
So he was one of the few people who saw Ram for who he was right away… or he was getting better at playing me. I eyed him.
“Do you have a lot of experience with corpses?” AKA are you a murderer?
He eyed me back. “I have a lot of experience with boners, mostly my own.” He raised an eyebrow.
“That was the most awkward attempt at flirting I have ever heard,” I said, but I couldn’t help but smile. He acted smooth and confident while talking like a dork.
“Ah! You smiled,” Jag said, grinning. “Score!” He was so light now that it seemed a different person had coldly and calmly told Aquamarine that he was going to beat the shit out of her.
And that made my heart flutter because dangerous and nerdy were my jam.
We could give him our pussy jam,my brain said.
Ew, no, what the fuck?
Not only was that dumb, but I knew little about him, and he had dodged the corpse question. People who were in prison for theft and other minor crimes were happy to tell you so you wouldn’t think they were something worse. People who were serial killers were happy to tell you because they were usually proud about what they had done.
That he wouldn’t volunteer any info was worrying.
“Speaking of erections.” Jag lowered his voice. “Sky cum.”
“Is that supposed to be a secret codeword?”
He eyed me with a shrewd expression. “How’d you beat the ward to magic away the cum? Or create it in the first place?” He looked me over and winked. “You could inspire a lot of cum.”
“Your lines are getting worse.”
He grinned, slightly crooked and charming. It made my skin goosebump. “True enough, but about the cum—”
I changed the subject. “If you think Ram is dishonest, why did you listen when he said I could bust you out?”
Jag crossed his arms. “How did you know he told me that?”
“I have spies everywhere.”
He eyed me as though trying to decide if I was serious or not. “I only followed Ram’s lead because I had no other. Everyone said he was the one to talk to if you need anything around here. It looks like it’s because he’s smuggling contraband and bribing everyone with it.”
“It’s worse than that.”
