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Overhead the sky was obscured by a thick, lush canopy, the air so water drenched and brimming with life, I could practically taste everything growing. Such a stark difference from the deathlands we’d left behind.
“Welcome to Solarys, Anaria.” Zorander crouched down, hands hanging loose between his knees. “Take a moment, get your bearings. The first time is always the hardest.”
Something in Zor’s handsome face was different. His expression seemed…softer, somehow. But he kept his distance.
“Tavion and the others needed a head start to reach the wall. I am not strong enough to transport us all, I could only carry you the last two miles here. You’re safe. Solok cannot set foot on this soil.”
There was warmth in Zor’s voice. And for a split second, his assurances thrummed with emotion, making this moment feel like…more.
I cursed the tears that leaked from my eyes, the knot in my throat, the fact I couldn’t speak, not even to thank him. One miniscule act of kindness reduced me to an emotional mess.
I rocked back onto my knees. My body felt wrong, as if parts of me were still catching up, my head in a fog, even as I nodded, just to prove I’d heard and understood.
I’d left Ember behind. Again.
He dropped his voice. “Is it true what Solok said about you being in the prison?”
“Yes.” I took my first full breath, my insides sorting themselves out, my stomach still sour with nausea. “Three days.” I shook my head and the entire forest spun. “No. Four days.”
“That monster whipped you?” Something dark flickered in his eyes when I just nodded, as if he knew exactly what four days at Solok’s hands entailed.
“And Julian…did you kill him?”
“Yes.” I whispered, trying to erase the sight of Solok licking blood off Ember’s face out of my head.
I should have grabbed her. I should have…
“What was Solok lying about, then?” Zor asked, his gaze fixed on mine. His face wasn’t pitying, but there was dark understanding there, as if he saw every failure, every mistake. I’d never been so close to telling anyone all my secrets, and wondered if this strange compulsion was some part of his magic.
“Everything. Nothing.” I shook my head and the whole world spun. “It’s too complicated to explain.”
I never wanted this. Never wanted to make impossible choices. Never wanted to be weak, to depend on others to survive.This was bullshite.
If I claimed this fucking power, I could have saved Ember, I wouldn’t need anyone else’s help.
Deep within me something stirred, the stolen magic lifting its head…then settling back down to sleep.
Tavion stepped between us. “Yes, little thief, what could the Axe possibly have to lie about besides you being a spoiled brat?”
The words range through me, the insult landing, even though it wasn’t remotely true.
I got up, brushed the black, rich soil off me, drinking in all thisalivenessaround me. This forest was ripe with life, far older than any I’d ever seen, some of the moss-covered, misshapen trunks as big as a house.
“You’re right as usual, Tavion. All I’m good for is getting your precious reward.” I shoved away all my guilt and anger over Ember and fell back on the haughty attitude I’d seen the duchess use a million times. A mask, to keep Tavion—and the betrayal in Em’s eyes—at bay. “How far to Blackcastle?”
“Five days. Two, if we take the bridge.”
“You don’t want to go that way, Tavion.” Zor murmured, looking up at me from where he was still crouched. “Not worth the risk. We’ll do the five days.”
Tavion hesitated, then shocked me to the core when he nodded. “You’re in charge, we go the way you choose.”
If there was a faster way to Blackcastle they weren’t taking, then that path was dangerous. I offered my hand to Zorander, as I’d often seen Tristan do, to help him up. He ignored me, pushed to his feet, his eyes glinting as he scanned my face. I didn’t know what he saw there, but he sighed, his shoulders sagging.
“You were brave out there, braver than most seasoned soldiers would have been facing Solok. And you could not have saved her. My reaction…is not because of you, Anaria.” He said, quiet enough Tavion didn’t hear.
“It’s all females. Don’t take it personal.”
27
