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“I’m not exactly lying in a field of flowers, you know.” I blushed, buttoned the dress up, tugged the skirt past my knees. I was sore, my thighs coated with Raz’s seed and the pink blush of blood, but no trace of magic.
What if Torin and Adele were wrong?
What if I’d given up my virginity and now, I had nothing?
Even if it was true, I couldn’t bring myself to regret the choice. What we’d just done had been glorious. Lifechanging.
Everything was different now and I couldn’t stop staring at this perfect male who’d just changed my life. Even if it wasn’t for the reasons I’d planned.
Raziel was watching me just as intently, his shirt slung over his arm. “Now what?” He asked softly, before we were plunged into complete darkness as the candle wick burned out.
“I don’t know.” It was an honest answer, and I was glad he couldn’t see my face. If this hadn’t worked, then I was as good as dead.
Little more than a vessel to be bartered away.
“Go back to your room, Anaria, I’ll find you tomorrow, figure out how we can meet. I don’t know how I can help you, but I will try.”
I blinked at the offer.
He could be punished for this. If anyone found out, if the king found out… Horror spiked through my heart like lightning thrown from a storm cloud.
I hadn’t taken that into account, that someone might have seen us and would use this against Raz, who, like me, had no way to protect himself. “I’m sorry, Raz. I should never have asked this of you.”
Teeth flashed in the dark then his lips crashed into mine. This time, my tongue tangled with his, meeting him stroke for stroke, his fingers tracing a fiery line down my neck. This moment was erotic, even more intimate than the act we’d just finished and I never wanted tonight to end.
There was only Raz, this moment, this silence between us, drenched in pleasure and something even more and when I opened my eyes, the inside of the hut was bathed in a white glow, dancing with stars.
Panic flashed through me; total and utter panic. After what happened with the guards, after what happened with Julian…
“Get down, Raziel.Right now.” I screamed.
Raz’s eyes widened and he hit the floor seconds before power roared out of me, wiping out the flimsy walls, the roof crashing on our heads. Even the thick stone wall of the Keep shuddered, sending a shower of dust over us. I coughed out a mouthful of powder, then Raz yanked me free of the rubble, pushed my hair out of my face as he frantically checked me over.
“What the fuck was that, Anaria?” He growled, then went perfectly still, frozen in shock, his eyes wide as he pieced everything together.
“The king’s magic.” He whispered. “You claimed it for yourself, didn’t you?”
I couldn’t answer, my body arching as another wave of magic burst out of me. Raz went down again, arms braced over his head.
“I thought this was aboutme.” He hissed, climbing to his feet. “Aboutyou and me.” My heart stumbled at the raw torment on his face. The hurt that was laid bare, the devastation gleaming in his dark eyes.
“The rest of them were right.” He hissed, his body rigid, face a mask. “You’re just a selfish girl who uses people to get what she wants. And I’m just a slave to be used.”
Oh, gods.Raz’s awful words—that hollow tone—echoed through me, to my very bones. I’d ruined this. Ruined everything before we even had a chance to begin. “I wasn’t…”
He snorted, “Really? You didn’t use me to get what you wanted?”
“That’s not true, Raz.” I reached for him and he shoved me away, pain shining in his dark eyes. I wanted to wrap my arms around him, swear thiswasabout him. I wanted to kiss away that haunted look in his eyes.
But I couldn’t lie. Not to him.
“I did not mean to hurt you. This was my only choice.” I murmured, hot, bitter tears streaming down my face, because he was right. I’d lied to get what I wanted, thinking he’d understand.
Thinking the ends justified the means.
If he’d used me the same way…I would be hurt. Violated.Used.
“Was lying really your only choice? I trusted you, Anaria. You could have told me the truth…and you didn’t.”
