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Nova shook his head with a placating smile like he knew Ben was trying to pacify him, but he went on. “You kept showing up here on all these terrible dates, and I was some monster who was standing behind the bar hoping every single one would be a disaster so I could rescue you.”
Ben laughed, the sound a little watery. “I hope you’re not trying to blame yourself for these guys.”
“No,” Nova said, grinning widely. “But you deserved to have these guys falling at your feet.”
Ben sighed and rubbed a hand down his face. “I’m not really all that great. I’m…you know. I’m okay. I think I was a decent boyfriend, and I deserved better than what my ex did, but I’m cranky and really stuck in my ways, and when I’m not, I tend to let people walk all over me.”
“You’re not telling me anything I hadn’t already figured out,” Nova said. “And I still like you.”
Ben’s breath caught in his chest. “What are you saying?”
“I’m saying that I want to ask you out.”
“Oh—”
“But,” Nova went on, and Ben’s heart crumpled to his feet, “I want you to finish your dates.”
Ben blinked at him. “What? Why? If it’s because you’re worried I don’t like you too—”
“No,” Nova said with a small laugh. “I’m observant enough to see you were flirting back. But…I don’t know. Maybe this sounds fucking batshit, but I think it might be a sign, you know?”
“A sign,” Ben repeated.
“Look, I think holiday miracles are meant for Hallmark movies, not real life. But you have eight dates, for eight nights,” Nova said. “There’s three more left, and if not one single man in that lineup is even worthy to share the same air as you, then maybe it meansI’mwhere the universe was trying to lead you.”
Ben stared down at Nova’s face—at his wide eyes and lush mouth and his slender hands, which were twitching like he wanted to reach for Ben again. He licked his lips. “I don’t believe in fate. At all. And I can tell you right now that I have never and will never meet a man like you. And I want you. I don’t need three more dates to tell me that.”
Nova just smiled and shrugged. “I get that, and I know I sound irrational, trust me. And I’m not asking you to get on this irrational train with me and ride it to the end of the week,” he added with a small laugh before his face went drawn and serious. “But I think I need you to finish them out.”
“Why?” Ben asked, torn and a little hurt. “I don’t want to date anyone else. If it wasn’t obvious to you, the only thing that’s mattered to me this entire week is being able to see you.”
Nova let out a trembling breath. “I know it sounds…nuts, okay? I do. And maybe this makes me the biggest asshole on the planet, but if you don’t finish what you started, I’m always going to wonder if one of those guys was better than me.”
“Not possible,” Ben said immediately.
Nova laid his palms on Ben’s thighs and gently stroked over his slacks. “Itispossible. Trust me, I’m not all that great either. I own this bar, which means my life is entirely consumed by my job. I’ve never been in a relationship that lasted longer than six months. I left home before I was old enough to get a job, and I have scars from a childhood full of neglect and emotional abuse. And I got into D&D when I was fifteen, and I haven’t stopped playing it, even though I lie to people to seem cooler.”
That startled a laugh out of Ben, who laid his hands over Nova’s. “Is that what you think is going to scare me off? I’m a classical history professor, and I’ve spent about four hundred hours of my life playing Civilization. It doesn’t really get much nerdier than that.”
Nova bowed his head. “Fuck. You are so amazing.”
Ben wanted to kiss him, but instead, he just twisted their hands together so they were pressed palm to palm. “So are you. Let’s just have this. Us.”
Nova looked up, his expression shattered. “I want to. But I just…I don’t…” He licked his lips slowly. “I know you don’t get it, but is there any way you can indulge me in this, Ben? Just three nights?”
Bendidn’tget it. He couldn’t. He was the sort of man who went for the things he wanted, not the things that might be. But he could see that Nova was afraid, and that was something he did get. If it meant suffering through a few bad hours to prove to Nova that this was what he wanted, he could do that.
“One condition?”
Nova looked up, his eyes a little wild and startled. “Anything.”
“You have to be here to get me out of the disaster.”
Nova laughed hard and squeezed Ben’s thighs tightly. “I’ve given up two of my days off already because I couldn’t stand the thought of you being here without me. Trust me, I’m not going anywhere. I’ve said it a thousand times, Ben, but nothing could drag me away from you.”
“Not even wild horses?” Ben said in a soft whisper.
Nova dislodged his hand and passed a careful, gentle, fleeting touch over Ben’s cheek. “Not even that.”
